How Living with the Bad Boy Saved My Life

Chapter Twenty Three

Silence filled the room as I looked up at Hunter. His eyes were staring into my own with an unreadable expression I had never seen on his face before. Was it too soon to say those three words? It probably was...it had only been a few months since we had met each other. After doing the math in my head I worked out that Hunter and I had known each other almost five months.

Five months was enough to fall in love with someone, right? I was a firm believer in thinking it does not matter how long you know someone, but it is how they make you feel and treat you that matters the most. You could be with someone ten years but someone you have known for three months could treat you better than the person you spent ten years with ever could. I felt that was true with all aspects of life not just romantic relationships.

But right now, with Hunter looking back at me with his eyes clouded with an unreadable emotion, my heart was sinking. I had never been in love with someone before, so declarations of love were something that was lost on me.

Hunter's silence was telling me that his feelings were not reciprocated. Feeling like an idiot, I pushed his body off mine and sat up on the bed rubbing my hands over my face in a stressed manner. Why did I have to speak so soon? I was inwardly cringing in embarrassment as Hunter's silence continued to evade the room. Was it normal for someone to stay this quiet after their significant other confessed their love for them?

Obviously, tonight was going fantastically great for me. First, my mum was back in my life but after a few hours she was already planning to make a beeline for it. Then, Hunter was left to pick up my broken pieces once again and I decided to blabber how I felt about him. Not getting a response from him was making me want the ground to swallow me whole. I thought Hunter had feelings for me too but maybe I was so caught up being in love with Hunter that I didn't recognise the difference between love and lust.

I was in love with Hunter and maybe he was just in lust with me.

I went to get up off the bed away from Hunter, but he grabbed my wrist gently pulling me back to sit beside him. He grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger gently tilting it, so I was looking directly at him. My heart was beating out of my chest as I still waited for him to reply to me. Rather than offering me an actual reply he lightly placed his lips against mine. I pulled away before he had a chance to deepen the kiss. My embarrassment wasn't going to disappear just from a quick kiss.

Hunter clearly noticed my annoyance as he sighed running his hands through his hair. He opened his mouth to speak but then firmly closed it again.

"I love you too" Hunter finally spoke.

I was huffing with him now considering it took him so long to finally speak. I crossed my arms over my chest biting my tongue as I waited for an explanation for the length of time it took him to respond.

"You took me by surprise, Harper. I wasn't expecting you to say that tonight but I knew I loved you the minute you pulled the trigger and the police were dragging you away. I was terrified that I might never get to see you again, that I wouldn't be able to kiss you again, hold you again, make love to you again or just be in your company again. I'm so, so happy that you're free now it's just that..." He trailed off.

"It's what, Hunter? What's going on?" I questioned worriedly.

"Baby, please...let's just enjoy your freedom" he whispered trying to pull me closer to him.

I pushed him away, "Tell me what's wrong!" I demanded.

His face was strained with emotion as he briefly glanced at me, "I'm sorry" he mumbled.

"Sorry for what, Hunter?"

He remained silent again and this time my blood really was boiling in anger.

"Hunter" I shouted. "Tell me what's going on, please" I pleaded with him.

"Please" I begged.

"Hunter" I whispered. "Tell me what's going on, please?"

He took a deep breath before mustering up the courage to speak, "I really do love you, Harper..."

"But?" My heart was picking up speed as I was prepared for it to shatter into pieces.

"My dad wants to move to America, and he wants me to come with him. He wants us to live with my brother and have a fresh start from everything. The police are onto me after everything with my mum and wants me to go somewhere that I will have an entirely clean slate..."

I knew my next words were selfish, but they were out before I had the chance to think, "What about me, Hunter?"

"You can come with us! My dad has said already that you can move too, a fresh start will do us both the world of good. Please, Harper, I need you to come with me and we can live away from all the horrible things we have had to experience our whole lives." Hunter's eyes were searching my own begging me to say yes and promise to move to America with him.

I shook my head feeling the tears brimming at the corner of my eyes, "Hunter, I-I can't. There is going to be a trial and I will need to be here. If I move away it will make me look guilty and make it look as if I am running away."

Silence and sadness filled the room again.

"Do you want to move, Hunter?" I asked.

"Not without you" He answered honestly. "But my dad really wants to go for at least six months. I've not seen my brother in years so it would be nice to see him – I just can't get my head around the fact that I may not see you every day anymore."

"Where does this leave us, Hunter? When do you have to decide?"

I was afraid to hear his answer because deep down I knew he had already decided to leave.

Maybe he never loved me after all.

Maybe he just wanted to pick up the broken pieces of me to make me whole again just to be the one to break me all over again.

I so desperately wanted to hate him for considering leaving me but no one in my life had ever stayed before. I couldn't be angry at him for wanting to leave when I didn't even know what it felt like to have someone stay.

"Friday" he whispered.

"It's Tuesday now" I observed. "So, in less than I week I've lost both parents and my boyfriend" I whispered.

Guilt spread over Hunter's face and I could see the tears forming in his own eyes. How could he leave me to face trial alone? You don't run away from the people you love.

I was angry at myself for giving everything to him for him to just up and leave and take every broken piece with him.

"I'm sorry, baby, I really am" he whispered.

But sorry was not good enough.

Loss was the only thing that was constant in my life. The people that I loved and cared about always walked out on me despite their promises to stay.

I will never trust anyone again.