Cherry

13. family is family

family is family, in church or in prison

you get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em

they might smoke like chimneys, but give you their kidneys

yeah, friends come in handy, 

but family is family

***

Cash

I felt numb. Harry and I were doing so good. I meant it when I said it didn't bother me that he was with someone else. I mean yeah I would prefer him not have been with anyone but we were broken up. It's the fact that he lied to me. I was putting all my trust in him while he lied.

What hurt even more was that I wasn't mad at him anymore. I went from mad to disappointed to sad. I hated that he felt the need to protect me as if I couldn't handle the information. I wasn't some fragile person anymore, I worked too hard to be strong and get to a place where I could handle this type of stuff to have him make me feel less than. 

I hated that he probably didn't even see that. He probably didn't realize how much I felt that this undermined me and my progress. 

I hated that despite this past week I didn't stay mad at him long. I love him. I'm in love with him. And as much as I wish I could just move past this my feelings made this feel so much harder. I forgave him, he didn't know that yet. But, that did mean we needed to have a long conversation about this and he was going to have to work to build up the trust he broke. 

Niall was not helping. He came to my house everyday telling me I needed to go out and do something. Apparently staying inside all day and barely sleeping wasn't good for me. I wasn't ready to talk to Harry though. I feel like I forgave him too easily and it may be cruel but I wanted him to know how badly he screwed up and that he couldn't do this to me again.

Now, of all the places I could have gone to get out of the house Nashville probably wasn't the smartest idea. I really just wanted to see my grandmother, I missed her. But then that also meant having to see my mom because once she knew I was in town she would want to see me just to torture me.

Nashville will always be home, where my roots are, but damn I'm glad to live in LA. I wrote a song few years back about family and it still reigns true today. I was currently listening to my grandmother curse my mom out in French which of course only made my mom mad because she doesn't know what she is saying.

I hadn't been back since I came with Harry a year and a half ago. I skipped Thanksgiving and Christmas and I knew it hurt my grandma but she also understood that I needed a break.

It all started with my mom's snide remarks at dinner, "Cash, maybe you should lay off?" She suggested rudely as I grabbed a second plate of food.

My grandma's food is my favorite thing. She is the best cook, *chefs kiss. I don't get these kinds of meals back in LA so I tended to eat more when I was here because I also didn't come home often. I shouldn't have to justify that yet here I am.

Her comment was all it took for my grandma to throw herself into a rage and yell at my mother. Of course my sister's baby was screaming and crying while my sister was drinking a beer outside while on her second cigarette. I huffed and decided to join my sister grabbing my sweet tea and not even mentioning I was walking outside.

"Back at it?" She asked when she saw me.

"Of course, I really don't understand what her problem is."