I still remember that feeling when I took a bullet for him. That feeling of contradictory emotions overwhelming my mind. At that moment, I loved him yet hated him. He knew that I loved him, yet he chose her. It's been 4 years of loving and I still can't seem to let go. But at that brink of death, I think I found nirvana.
It felt so unreal letting go. I wondered why it was so hard to give up loving him but I could easily let go when I'm dying? I wondered why it was so tiring loving him and receiving nothing in return?
This ludicrous situation is really driving me crazy. But at least I finally feel free; the chains binding me to him is gone. I know now that I shouldn't have to beg for someone's attention, and that just because I love him, doesn't mean he has to love me. Love is supposed to be selfless, I guess that's what God is telling me right now. Hehehe.
However, my biggest regret was that he never really saw that the women he loved so very much was a fake bitch. It's heartbreaking to see our friendship ruin because this women came into his life. Is our friendship really that fragile? Was our childhood together that easily forgotten, where a random women who you only met for 2 years can block out your senses?
Who cares anymore? Maybe in my next life, I could find a person who loves me for who I am. Maybe in my next life, I could be stronger. Without you.
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Reincarnation: Never Loving You Again
RomantikShe vowed to never love him again, but it seems impossible when she tries hard to hide the overwhelming feeling of love. [cover credit to the artist]
