Reincarnation: Never Loving You Again

2: Reborn & Reminiscing

I woke up feeling the warm sun hitting my face. My headache dispersed, and I slowly opened my eyes.

Was God playing a joke on me? Why aren't I being reincarnated? Why do I have to suffer again? Or maybe...is he giving me another chance to re-live?

I wiped my eyes, and I felt my tears uncontrollably streaming down my face. I tired stifling my cries in my bed sheets, but I could hear my low sobs echoing in my room. Was I crying tears of joy or tears of bitterness, being reborn to when I was 15?

I can still clearly remember, that it was in high school that I recognized the feeling of love for him. When I was younger, I used to love following Chao Feng around like a puppy, who couldn't live without her owner. I just thought I loved him immensely like a brother since we grew up together as neighbors. But, I slowly grew to realize that it was really love that I felt. The slow burn kind of love, where I didn't notice till I fell in too deep, losing my rationally.

He never realized my feelings, but was so in love that I was always paying attention to him ever since middle school. I would wait for him after school to go home together, I would cling onto him till he got annoyed, I would bring him water after a basketball game.

I didn't think that he hated it since he was always a pretty cold person. He didn't talk much, and he always seemed to be thinking about something all the time. I thought I could get him to slowly warm up to me and let him realize that I liked him. A lot. He meant the world to me. He motivated me to work hard to be in class A just like him.

But when we got to junior high, we slowly grew apart because of Bai Chang Yin. She always had a sweet smile and a pretty face. It was like she replaced me; instead of me clinging onto him, she did. And not once did he reject her advances. Was he really unaware, or was he just never interested in me?

Chao Feng became really busy with being the class president and the team captain of the basketball team. But why was it that he had time for her, but not me?

I got so jealous that I threatened Bai Chang Yin to leave him or else I'll crush her family. I even pushed her so hard that she ended up in the hospital with a concussion. Chao Feng saw her hit the wall and harshly reprimanded me in front of her. The embarrassment I felt was unbearable. How could he? We grew up together, how could he stand by her side?

I got so angry that I blurted out whatever I wanted, true or not. I admitted to threatening her even though I didn't mean it. But that ruined his image of me, and I didn't realize.

"Yes, I am not the same sweet girl that I used to be. So what if I am evil? So what if I threatened her? She deserved it! You should know, she's just faking that innocent look, she's just a two-faced bitch! She stole you away from me. Wasn't I supposed to be your...lover"?

I couldn't confess to him. I was scared that he would reject me, so I just ran away like the coward I was. I didn't hear what he had to say, but I'm sure he's looking down on me.

After that day, I was never able to fully see his face again. Whenever he saw me, he would turn away in disgust, and I would see her clinging onto him while she gave me a slight sardonic smile for a quick second before replacing it with a super sweet smile.

No one ever realized that she was such a two-faced bitch. Everyone hated me.