As I'm trying to process my thoughts, Chao Feng wouldn't stop letting go of me. He kept pulling the hem of my dress as he declares that he loves me so much.
And I think his answer closed the last door behind me, it was the relief that I felt from finally, fully letting go of the past. It was the fact that I never got clear answers from anyone that held me back from forgiving.
The fact that he declared how much he loved me, made me feel happy. His almost crazed love made me feel like my past actions of loving him fully paid off. My death paid off.
So I turned towards him and sighed, "Chao Feng, you know I used to love you so much right? So much that I've changed into a person who can only think of you my entire life. My death made me realize that love is a wonderful thing but not obsession. I was in love with you, but that turned into an obsession. An obsession that ate me out from the inside, leaving me only an empty shell. I've learned to let go. I don't think I need you anymore."
He looked at me in disbelief. His usual composure and coldness was no where to be seen. He then said, "Are you going to leave me? You can't! You can't!"
I took a step back and said, "I can. And I am. Goodbye."
And that final step out his door was the most refreshing feeling I could ever describe. The feeling of complete freedom and no more worries. Just me in my own feels.
I could even hear Chao Feng's sobs as he couldn't stop me from leaving.
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Reincarnation: Never Loving You Again
Любовные романыShe vowed to never love him again, but it seems impossible when she tries hard to hide the overwhelming feeling of love. [cover credit to the artist]