IS IT LOVE? (Completed)

"Is it love?" Chapter 21

Leonardo was standing in front of his younger brother, his head low as he was looking pretty thoughtful.

Raphael instead, was waiting for the oldest to talk. He was impatient, but not that impatient which you are when you wanna rush something, cause you don't wanna do that and you can't wait to do something else, it was that kind of impatience which makes your heart beat faster,  and you can't choose if wanting it to start, to make it end sooner, or if wanting to never ever start, cause you're too nervous about the topic and about the consequences it could bring at.

So he just waits there, silently, giving to Leo all the time he needs to think.

The dojo was silent, neither the soft noises of Splinter could be heard, since they all know that at this time, their sensei isn't even in his bedroom, but is drinking tea in the kitchen, reading a book.

They were all alone, nobody was looking at them, nobody was hearing, just the two of them.

"Raph"

"..Leo"

After a deep breath, blue eyes looks up to the green ones:

"First of all, I want to apologize. I ha-"

"No, no it's okay Leo, ya don't hafta apologize"
He interrupted, but it made Leo even more upset, Raph could say that by his brother's frown getting deeper:

"I do have to apologize Raph! I've been acting like a jerk! I had no reason to ignore you and say all those bad things.."
He looks down, still mortified about those words of him. But a dark green hand reach soon his shoulder, in an attempt to reassurance:

"Leo-...[sigh]"
Unlucky, his expression wasn't so reassuring as his gentle touch was. He couldn't hide that the things which Leo said have harmed, he couldn't lie saying that he isn't hurt anymore about that.
But the thing is, he did think that Leo didn't need to apologize; he has taken to heart the idea that it was his fault if all of this happened.
This was kind of unusual though.

You see, Raph has been always a bit..childish about it; when something bad happened, like a mission failed, or they messed up something, the favorite sentence of Raphael was:

"This is all your fault Leo!"

Yeah, sometimes bad things could've been avoided if Leo maybe planned them better, but he wasn't to blame anyway, since they're a team, and there's no fault in accidents; and then come on, nobody can perfectly plan everything, Leo always has done his best, and this was to admire already, and it should've stopped Raph from blaming him unfairly.

The funny thing though, is that Raph used that sentence of him, also when it was clearly his own fault.
When Raph would jump in fights, just cause he wanted to beat up, or when with his temper would cause the failing of the leader's plans, or even when he would act with no thinking, like when he just rushed into the dimension X, the hot head would always blame Leo for it.

Raph though wasn't stupid.
He knew when something happened for his own fault, but he wouldn't admit it, because he knows that the guilt feelings would have eaten him from inside. So he thought that convincing himself that it was someone's else fault would've helped.

"But this is selfish, won't Leo have guilt feelings as well?"  You may wonder.
Well, the red masked turtle believed that his big brother could take it all.
No sense? I told you that he has been childish about it; it was a childish way to see a hero.
Yeah, cause in his eyes, his fearless leader has always been a hero.
Guilt feelings would never eat Leo from inside, because he was stronger.
He was just better; a better ninja, a better brother, a better son.
Those were the thoughts of the hot head.