IS IT LOVE? (Completed)

"Is it love" Chapter 18

He put the last piece of hotdog in his mouth, licking the little residue of sauce on the side near his lips. He leans heavily at the back of the chair, patting his belly with satisfaction:

"Hha..Mikey, those hot-dogs were divine"

After a proud smile, the orange one talked:
"I know they were! Cause I made those"

"Yeah sure, keep dreaming Chef"

"It's Chef Michelangelo" he said his name doing a linear moviment with the finger, as for underlining the importance of his complete nomination.

"Whatever ya say lil'bro" he said rolling his eyes, then he gets up, glanching at his brother:
"Ya need help with washin' dishes?"

"No way bro! Remember..great responsibilities come from great powers"
He said the quote with a deeper voice:

"...And so?"

"And so I have to wash dishes for my own! That's my responsibility"
he beats his own chest with the fist, in a bad dramatic performance.

"And what's yer power? Bein' extremely annoyin'?"

"No! It's being the best chef in the world!"

"I-...Okay, I give up"
He raises his hands slightly in sign of surrender, but a slight amused smile was on his lips.
He openes the fridge for getting something to eat for Chompy, while talking:
"Have fun with washin' those then, Spider man"
As he said it, he closes the fridge and starts heading the exit.

"It's not fun! It's a must! A duty!"
Mikey was saying loudly and tragically, Raph heard his voice always more distant since he was going to his room.

"Yeah yeah, G'night my hero!"
He said sarcastically, loud enough for making Mikey to hear.
As his little brother answered back wishing the goodnight, Raph enters in his room.

As he did so, a little tartoise starts to climb him immediately, reaching quickly and licking energetically his cheek:

"Hahaha Chompy! Oh my little buddy, I missed ya too"

He grabs his pet on his hands, holding him with one, and with the other one carressing his shell:

"I am so sorry I stood away all the day, I promise it won't happen again"

He said it sitting on the bed, putting Chompy on his lap. He didn't even turn the lights on, since the strip of light coming from the ajar door was enough, for then, for looking at his little friend.

"Papà now is gonna feed ya, okay?"

He moves a bit from his sit position for turning on the pumpkin lamp near his bed:

"Alright, now open your mo-.."

He stopped as he looked in front of himself, mixed feelings go through his eyes at the sight of the giant painted poster, he hadn't thrown it away yet, thinking..hoping that things would have been fixed up.
A flash of anger hits his chest, like the first time he saw that after the breaking up, but this time, there was no hope that stopped him from tearing that up.

However, he doesn't loose control, he didn't want to show too much anger in front of Chompy, because he was worried that, since his little buddy was pretty smart for being a pet, Chompy would end up for being a monster filled with his own anger and hatred..as happened with Spike..

So he just feeds him in silence, brings him in the bathroom and prepares to him a cold bath.
Since his little alien tartoise, unlike the terrestrial tartoise, has hot blood, really hot blood (and that was pretty obvious since his mother looked like a giant magmatic rock, his egg has hatched in a volcano and he lets out fire from any place where air can escape), it was normal for him to take a cold bath for not overheating, and he pretty likes it.

"Now stay here Chompy..dad has to do somethin', be right back."

Raph quickly goes out of the bathroom, one of his hands was already leaning on a sai, the more approaches his room, the more his anger raises up, his breath gets faster and his teeths are tightening always more.
He pushes the door open, and with a under breath growls he stabs the poster, right in the face of Leo, tearing it up and ripping it off violently.

"I hate you!"

He said angryly, still ripping the paper left with his hands, he wanted to tear it in several little pieces:

"I hate you I hate you I hate you!!"

He doesn't even know who is directed at this hatred of him, of course he was saying it thinking of Leo, wanting to aim this feeling to Leo , but in deep, he knows that this hate is towards himself.

He hates himself for letting his feelings take place of the reason.

He hates himself for letting his heart fall inlove with the wrong person.

He hates himself for letting it getting broken by this person.

He hates himself for letting his soul still hope for the impossible.

He hates himself for giving up at the pain.

He hates himself for not managing to hate the person who he cried for.

He hates himself for still loving Leonardo.

But of course, the blue masked turtle couldn't know all of this.

While he was looking secretly at his red masked brother from the door sitting on the bed, holding tight his head, and letting tears of anger fall, Leo thought it was all his fault, he thought that the hate of his brother was towards him, he thought that the "you", of that sentence of three words, was meant to be his own name.

Leonardo.

I hate you.
I hate Leonardo.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.

It's funny to think how a single word in a sentence, that structurely is indentical, can change so much the meaning.

Subject of one letter;

Verb of four letters;

Direct object of three letters;

I

Love

You.

...

I

Hate

You.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

"Raphael hates me"

He couldn't bear to keep looking at his brother..his lover like that.

He goes back to his room, sitting on the bed, and looking in front of himself.
In the silence, a slight chuckle fills the air

"He hates me, of course he hates me, why am I even surprised?"
He places one hand on his plastron, where his heart is. It is hurting.

"And why does it even hurt so much?.."

He looks down thoughtfully, his empty look has disappeared since long, placed by a sad one, but now, he tries to take it back, forcing a smile and another chuckle:

"Who cares after all? I broke up with him, it was my decision and it is surely the best"

He lays down, one hand behind his head, the other one leaned on the plastron, he was staring at the ceiling.

"Let's just sleep and forget these bullshits"

But while his red masked brother, after getting back Chompy from the bathroom, managed eventually to fall  asleep in few time, since he vented his frustration, Leo couldn't, he didn't close an eye untill when was pretty late.
Infact, just few hours later, the sound of the alarm woke him up.

After a long night full of thoughts, another heavy day is going to start.

With a new feeling on the chest.

Stop hiding, stop faking.

He is going to tell everything to Splinter.