Lost at Sea ⋆ JJ Maybank

𝖝𝖝𝖝𝖛. A Mother's Love

Kathryn needs some time alone. Some time to process. For a while now, she had guessed that her father's end had been a tad more tragic then what everyone let on. Of course she has, she just pushed it down enough for it to become an afterthought and an anxious-filled remark at the end of the day.

She just needs a moment alone, somewhere no one will ask questions about how she feels learning her father was killed. Murdered. Drowned by Ward, she's sure of it now. All the evidence points towards him, including the fact that he killed Big John too. John B didn't want her to go to Max, he didn't trust cops, not with this. She had argued that it was Max, but he was firm on that. The fact that Henry knew about the Merchant was already too much, especially in the light of what people do when they know.

And Kathryn, well. She had to cling to some scraps of denial if she wants her life to remain even remotely normal. She can't go to Max and explain to him everything, it'd make it real. She has no real proof anyway, does she? Only a hunch.

She drove John B to the Château, she let him handle things his way, he does the same for her. Even if it meant going to the Cameron's house and shooting Ward, she wouldn't stop him. She'd give him an alibi.

The search for the gold was off, at least temporarily. They weren't going to excavate it that night, because John B had just escaped death, and might be on a killer rampage. Again, Kathryn supports it.

But, to be frank, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She hesitated, for a second, wanting to go to JJ. She almost did, but he needed rest from everything happening to her and John B, at least for the day. After his dad, and last night, he really deserved it.

In the end, she found herself sitting on the dusty green couch in her father's office. She slept there, and didn't move, even when the morning died out. She's been staring at the documents, thinking of the journal back in her room at the Palace for too long. She wonders if her dad left it here the same way Big John left something for his son. Maybe he wanted her to go after the Merchant. Maybe this has her name all over it for some reason, maybe she was meant to get where she was now, all along.

She wishes it wasn't so. She wishes none of them did, because now their lives were fucked. The good didn't outweigh the bad – then again, it rarely did. Of course, if they actually had the five hundred mil in their pockets about now it would make her feel a tad better, but they didn't. They went through so much and, for now, it felt like it was all for nothing.