Grievous: Braylon (GS1)

Kabanata X

Kabanata X: Pain

I woke up feeling really tired. Ang mga mata ko ay namumugto pa din.  They tried to reach me out last night pero I decided to not make contact with them. Buong gabi akong umiiyak, realizing that the future I wanted to be is not going to happen anymore. It will remain as a dreams. Dreams that I can never touch.

"Anak, can you please open the door?" Narinig ko si Mommy sa may pintuan. Tumayo ako mula sa kama para buksan ito.

Yinakap niya ako nang mabuksan ko ang pintuan. Her eyes is filled with concerned. Agad kong inalis ang tingin ko sa kanya. I'm still hurting and I know she is hurting too.

"I know na kasalanan namin because we didn't tell you earlier before the dinner. Your dad has been planning these for months now. He wanted to make sure that your are going to have a bright future kaya he come up with this idea. I tried to stop Daddy pero hindi ito naging maayos. You know him anak. What he wants needs to be done."

Lumayo ako sa pagkakayakap niya and I looked at her. Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso. I felt unfamiliar anger and frustration.

"Mommy, paano naman yung gusto ko? Paano yung mga pangarap ko? Daddy's decision is too selfish. This is not about my future! Dad's decision is not about my future! It's about his business! I've done everything just to prove myself! I never break any rules, My! Pero bakit ganto?! You're forcing me to marry someone and to steal my freedom, my dreams!"

Tears started to fall from my eyes. Pinipiga ang puso ko sa sakit ng nararamdaman ko. It shattered me too much. I don't want to walk on the path they created. I want to walk on the path I chose to. All my life I never felt such pain like this.

"Anak, I don't want this too! I tried stopping your father pero he doesn't want to listen. I know that you have a bright future without Dad's decision but he is scared to give you that opportunity since ikaw ang tagapagmana ng kanyang pinaghirapan."

"Then I don't want any part of it, My! If it involves not having my freedom, I don't want it!"

Tears started to fall from her eyes too. Pain and frustration showed on her face. Napangiwi siya and agad na pinunasan ang kanyang luha.

"I'll try to talk to your father about this." Aniya bago lumabas ng kuwarto. Nanatili ako sa kuwarto buong araw. Hinahatiran lang ako ng pagkain ni Manang Belinda at sinusubukan na pababain ako ngunit kahit anong pilit nila ay pagtanggi lang natatanggap nila mula sakin.

"What? Tito Sev decided to forced marriage you with Damien Guazon?!" gulat na gulat si Carmilla nang ikuwento ko sa kanya nung sumapit ang Lunes.

Tumango ako at napangalumbaba. "But you're still too young for that! Tsaka isa pa did Zadkiel know this or even Braylon?"

"No, I haven't talk to him since natapos yung family dinner. It slipped out of my mind. I don't know if Zadkiel and Abel knew anything about this besides they'll know it sooner."

Napahilot nalang ng sentido si Carmilla. I can see the frustration on her too. "I just don't get why Tito Sev has to do that. I mean look at you, Serena! You're the perfect child. Alam kong you're not going to do anything para makasira sa business niyo."

"Maybe, he doesn't trust me that much." It hurts but it's true. He wouldn't make this decision if he trust me pero hindi, he is scared to see me fail.

Yumuko nalang ako sa picnic table at pumikit. I don't want to stress about this. I need to find a way para mapigilan si Daddy sa decision niya.

"Serena, si--" bago pa matapos ni Carmilla ang sasabihin niya ay naramdaman ko na ang presensya sa likod ko.

"Serena, let's talk." napalingon ako para makita si Braylon sa likod ko. His eyes is filled with anger. Umigting ang panga niya nang mahanap ang mga mata ko.

"Carmilla, hintayin mo ko." sagot ko sabay sunod sa kanya. Umupo kami sa bench na hindi kalayuan sa picnic table kung nasaan si Carmilla. Nakita kong nakatingin siya sa amin.

"Hindi mo sinasagot ang mga message ko nung nakaraan. Is there something wrong?" aniya nang makaupo kami sa bench.

Umiling ako, "I've been busy studying. Malapit na exams." tipid akong ngumiti.

Pinadaan niya ang kanyang kamay sa kanyang buhok bago suminghap. "I feel something is wrong pero hindi ko alam kung ano. Are you telling me the truth?"

"I told you already, Braylon. I've been studying!"

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa kanyang mukha dahil sa aking reaksyon.

"I'm sorry. I'm just too stressed out pero okay lang ako. I promise." dagdag ko habang hinihilot ang aking sentido.

"You know I can help you, Serena. I just got scared baka iniiwasan mo ko ulit." Aniya tsaka hinawakan ang mga kamay ko.

Tinignan ko ang kanyang kamay na mahigpit na nakahawak sa akin. I felt a sting of pain, ang mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan ay parang unti-unting nanghihina. Pilit kong linalabanan ang bara sa aking lalamunan. Seeing him worried and confused hurts like hell.

Naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya at pagyakap sa akin. I can feel his breath on my shoulders. Ang init ng bisig niya ay nakakapanglambot ng puso. It felt like heaven and hell at the same time. 

"You know that I'm always here for you, Serena. Whatever happens you'll always have me, baby."