It's Always Been Us

17: To End is To Begin

He was so worried. He had been calling her numerous times but all his calls were unanswered. He was again supposed to book a flight back home but his manager has accepted additional bookings of guesting, interviews and meet and greets.

He was arguing that he wanted to go back home and that they could cancel his other events but his manager was stern enough to make him stay. This may be one of the few instances when he and his manager had an argument. Him being like a son reprimanded by his father. His manager was advising him to be reasonable and think things through. It took his manager a lot of convincing and reasoning before they came to a common ground - that is, he'll be flying back ahead of his team to San Francisco once the last leg of his concert tour in Canada is finished.

In a few minutes, his concert is about to start but he is restless and he keeps on checking his phone. Just as he was about to leave his dressing room, he heard a notification sound from his phone, and when he checked it out, it was a message from her. He was able to breathe a sigh of relief. His team also noticed the change of his demeanor from a restless and worried one to his game face on.

"I'm ok coach, don't worry about me. I'm just busy. Goodluck on your remaining concerts!"

Her short message was enough to assure him that she is well. But he still can't wait to get home and see her again.

After that night they got arrested for reckless driving, after that night he spent with her at the Twin Peaks, he had already acknowledged his feelings for her. 'There's no use denying and delaying, I have to let her know.' He talked to himself and that is what he intends to do once he returns home.

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She was nervous. This is the first time that she'll be seeing him again after two weeks and after their accidental kiss.

She deliberately ignored his calls and messages. She needed to think things through. She needed space to weigh things up.

Had she still been the young Sarah, she is very sure that she would be happily eloping and going out with him, she would be craving for more kisses and who knows maybe more. But adulting happens, she has grown older, wiser, and mature enough to think through things and consider other people who might be affected. She was most concerned about his kids who may be the most affected with what's happening between him and her.

'I..I want you to know that I did not regret this.' His last words kept ringing in her head.

"What does he mean?" She is so perplexed by his words and by the kiss that they shared that still clouds her reasoning.

But she resolved that she has to make it clear to him that the kiss was nothing, it was just an accident. Of course she is fooling herself because that kiss means so much to her, it shocked her in a good way and revealed her feelings to him that she had long forgotten. But she has to convince him that what they have is just friendship, no more, no less. And if she really wants to forget him and get over him, she needs to avoid him and lose contact with him.

"Prevention is better than cure," she was convincing herself that she is saving herself from another future heartache. She was a witness to how loyal he is to his wife and so no way that he'll fall in love with her or any other woman.

The moment she saw him at the chapel, she already knew that she was still in love with him, but it was forbidden love because he has a family and she is married. The devil in her was telling her that she could be a mistress but she dismissed that idea. Her marriage is already broken and she doesn't want to be the cause of another broken marriage. 'One broken marriage in a world where there are a lot of broken marriages is already enough,' she thought.