SOKEEFE VS FITZPHIE, kotlc

sabotage

"PLEEEEEAAAASSEEEE????"

Sophie sighed. "No Keefe, you cannot spy on Biana asking Tam out with binoculars."

"I said a telescope!" Keefe grumbled defensively, giving her an adorable pout that she would never admit was that cute. "Binoculars are laaaaaaammeee."

"Sometimes you act like a three year old," Sophie noted.

Keefe took a bow. "I'll grab the binoculars!"

________________

"Keefe! Your foot is digging into my shoulder-"

"Scooch to the left, I can't see through your head ya know!"

Sophie stifled her laugh and shuffled to the side, not-so-carefully extracting Keefe's boot from her shoulder. Believe it or not, he'd actually packed binoculars. And okay, maybe that wasn't a surprise- but Sophie was actually using them.

"Look it! Here comes Bangs Boy!"  He jabbed the binoculars into his face and elbowed Sophie in the ear in the process. Sophie rolled her eyes.

They were crouched down behind a row of very prickly plants in Everglen's insanely beautiful front yard. Sandor- along with a lot of protests and so much eye rolling, Sophie was afraid his eyeballs would pop out -was hiding behind a tree a few feet away from them.

Tam walked stiffly to the door, his hands shoved into his pockets as he took out one hand that was already clenched into a tight fist and knocked once.

Twice.

Three times.

And as the door opened, Sophie realized that Keefe was no longer crouched to the left of her. She looked around and gave a questioning glance to Sandor- and then to Ro, who had been also hiding behind a tree, but was a lot happier about it.

Ro was gone. Sandor just shrugged.

Sophie gave them one last quizzical glance before turning to face the scene in front of her.

______________

"BIANA! TAM IS-"

"I know Fitz!"

She finished tying up her hair and glanced in the mirror- not her best work, but it'd have to do. She rushed down the stairs and stopped at the doorknob.

And stared.

And then finally, she unlocked the door and waited for who would open it first- and Biana considered it both an invitation and an apology as Tam decided to turn the handle tentatively and the grand double doors of Everglen swung open slightly-

Wait. What was that?

She glanced down at his pants and... "TAM YOU PEED YOUR PANTS?"

He looked down and turned a shade of red similar to a tomato and shrieked.

"Wait! Biana! I swear, I didn't- that wasn't-" 

But Biana was already sprinting up the stairs, yelling words that she figured the world did not need to know.

_____________

Sophie was rolling around on the grass, trying to restrain her giggles when Keefe crawled over to her and whispered, "What did I miss?"

"That...was...so...funny!" Sophie choked between stifled laughs. "Tam.. peed... his..." 

Keefe cracked a smile- which was a surprise, since she figured Keefe would be laughing hysterically like he had when they watched Fitz's epic blind date fail.

And then Sophie spotted the water gun that Keefe and Ro were hiding behind their backs.