Hunted | A HermitCraft AU

False aint doing too well

tw for mild suicidal thoughts and wanting to die. Starts at "But how could she help them if she couldn't help herself?" and ends at "Wiping her eyes once more, False stood up, tucking her chair back in." Both are bolded.

—-

This was her fault.

Cub was trapped in Area 77 because of her.

Jevin was dead because or her.

Cleo hadn't been seen in months because of her (and False had a feeling that she'd never see Cleo again.)

Iskall was being turned into an ender dragon hybrid because of her.

Doc and Scar were helping a monster cause more damage because of her.

Everyone was in danger, all because of her.

She was the one complying with Rowan's wishes after all. She was a pawn in this game of chess Rowan was playing, and she may have been on the winning team, but she felt like she'd lost.

How can you celebrate your friends being murdered? How could she ever look Grian in the eye, or look at Stress the same way after hearing their voices bragging about the damage Kady and Heidi had caused?

She may know that Grian and Stress and Xisuma weren't in control of themselves, but that didn't mean she'd ever look at them the same way again. Grian may not be in control, but Jevin's blood was still on his hands. Stress may not be the one spreading distrust, but it was her voice that was convincing the Convex duo to turn on each other.

Xisuma may not be present, but they were his tools and his admin powers that were abused to get more control for Rowan.

How could she ever look at them the same way?

How would they feel about what they'd been used for?

False hadn't realised she'd been crying until she could taste salt in her mouth, the blond wiping her eyes with her sleeves. False needed to stay strong about this. She needed to try and help her friends the best she could.

But how could she help them if she couldn't help herself?

How could she keep Cleo alive if she didn't want to stay alive herself?

False had been wondering about that for a while. She knew that Heidi and Kady and Rowan had the ability to perma - kill. Jevin was gone, after all. False had seen the aftermath.

False had heard Heidi use Grian's voice to brag about it.

False half wanted to change places with Cleo. Maybe Rowan's control could help numb the hopelessness she felt. Maybe Rowan could take the pain away.

Maybe Cleo would screw up and False would be released from this hell.

Wiping her eyes once more, False stood up, tucking her chair back in. She glanced out the window of her room (well, cell. Stress' castle, once welcoming, now felt like a prison, especially since Rowan had forbidden False from going to her own base until Rowan had gotten what he wanted) and ran her hand over the smooth elytra sitting on the bed.

She could do this.

She had to.

False would get her friends out of this horrible situation, or she would die trying.