Praying Under Pressure

Prologue (sorry it's late lol)

He sat in a cruel chair positioned in the back of the school library. His head did not move much, his neck trapped in an equally cruel brace. He wished it was not saving his life. It would be okay if his neck went the full measures and snapped. 

He just wanted to snap. 

"The fuck are you doing, faggot," Silent torture was not broken by the rough snap of a familiar voice. He did not move, not even look at the figures looming over him as they did every day.

No, he sat still, staring out the window at little flurries escaping a gray sky. Two months. He sat with no life, no will, no care. He sat in front of a window, wondering how cold water had to be to kill someone. 

It took two seconds for a tree to take two lives. How long would it take in a semi-frozen lake? 

"Who am I kidding?" The voice laughed, stepping forward to grab a fist full of his hair. The pain prickled his scalp. It was a joke on the voice, however, he liked his hair pulled in bed. What is the difference in a school library? "You're always sitting here like a fucking predator," It wasn't clever. But the fellow voices laughed as if it was.

He held the chair arm, his cast off in one week bumped against the glossed wood. The snowflakes moved so slowly, as slow as his heartbeat. Bump. Bump. Bump. 

He was a snowflake. There were millions of individual snowflakes in the sky. And because of that,  no one snowflake was admired in the way he deserved. Except, maybe he wasn't a snowflake? He was not an individual. He was admired -as either a mistake or a good, tight asshole. 

Maybe he was the concept of snow as a whole. Dreaded, but slightly marveled at. 

"Looks cold out there, huh freak?" So far, these threats and nicknames were very lowgrade. He's had worse. The hand tightened the grip on his hair, pulling up so his neck nearly flexed in the brace. Two more days and his neck would be free to snap.

He laughed dryly, "Not as cold as your love life." He had nothing else to do but to taunt his life away. It would take months for the pressure to relieve the pain of it all.

The hand twisted in anger, another voice in the back nearly growling, "Shut up, slut." Not too hard for him. People never liked it when he spoke so he became mute to please. Pleasing was the only thing he was capable of. "Such a disgusting cock sucker." A pen dug into his arm. He could laugh at it.

"Why do you take your cock sucking, killing body out into the cold. No coat. It'll make it all feel better, huh boys? Better for us all."

While he would give them credit for written threats, the poor numbskals couldn't produce impromptu fear. Still, he would humor them. They didn't need to know they were nothing to the disgust and shame he held against himself. They were children in this game, he was a reigning champion. 

"Sure."

The voices hesitated, the air full of confusion and doubt. No matter how many times he blatantly agreed with their threats, they didn't know what to do when he did.

So a voice in the back scoffed, "Then we'll not waste a casket. Jace wouldn't want to share more space with you." Then the hand let go of his hair, shoving his head as much as the brace would allow, and they all walked away.

It was cold out. He could freeze. If he did it in an ocean then they wouldn't need to deal with a body. No one wanted to deal with his body. Once it was dead, it would no longer serve a purpose to anyone. 

The snowflakes fell. 

He fell.

A/N

So, hi, sorry this is late after I've already published chapters lol. But it is necessary because this book, as are all my books, poorly dealing with some heavy shit. Such heavy shit included is:

*Suicide references

*Rape/Assult references

*Child molestation

*GAY BOIs

And maybe other stuff. So, I ask of you to please proceed with caution and know that no chapter will have a specific warning at the top. While important to discuss, these matters can be triggering. 

Please be careful and I love you for reading: Praying Under Pressure