Money Makin' (Completed)

40.

Zuria

"It wasn't because I wanted to. I had to." I continued to explain as I bawled my eyes out to Dr. Soapy.

I'd never thought I would ever talk about this, I'd vowed to never speak on it or tell anyone about it but here it was. I was going to have Mitch's baby when I was 18 years old but I'd gotten an abortion to terminate the pregnancy.

"Let me ask you this, Zuria." Dr. Soapy spoke softly.

"Do you think this is part of the reason why you have not forgiven Mitch? You blame him for the abortion and seeing Marley everyday continuously reminds you of it?" He asked and I tucked my lips, looking down at my hands.

"Maybe." I spoke softly.

"It's not that she reminds me of it but I just-" I started but stopped.

"Why couldn't she be ours? Why did he have to go and get another girl pregnant?" I broke down again as Dr. Soapy passed his box of tissues to me.

"Do you blame him for it?" He went on asking as I patted my face dry.

"Of course. He's the reason I even got the abortion." I admitted, softly placing the tissue box down.

"I was already humiliated. I couldn't face more humiliation being pregnant at the same time as that bitch. That was not happening. He didn't get to play me two times, no way."

"But then you get the abortion and you go and make it work with him?" He asked, writing more things down and I took a deep breath.

"It didn't fully click what I'd did or chose to do until I actually did it. So when I did it? I felt so guilty and that night, I couldn't be alone. I couldn't be up in my room, thinking about this whole mess." My heart continued to ache while I spoke on it.

"So yes, I went to make it right and I don't regret it."

"I love him, I love him so much but love just isn't enough anymore. I want to forgive him and that's why we're here." I admitted and he nodded slowly, looking at me.

"Okay. Now let me ask you this." He spoke his soft voice.

"Does anyone in your family know about this? Your mother?" Dr. Soapy asked as he continued on.

"No. No one knows." I shook my head before blowing my nose into a tissue.

"Alright." He began to write that down with a slight nod.

"Now, let me ask you this." He asked again in a matter fact like tone.

"Do you think Mitch will be able to forgive you?" He asked, making me sigh deeply.

"I mean, it has been six years Zuria. This may be a hard pill to swallow for him."

"Or maybe he'll be completely fine with it.." He shrugged, considering other alternatives.

"No. I can't tell, he would never forgive me." I admitted, becoming completely nervous now because I'd never pictured myself actually telling him this.

"But you have to tell him, Zuria. You can no longer hold this in. This is something that he should definitely know." He went on, placing his hand on my knee while I slowly looked up at him with fresh new tears on my face.

"Imagine he's has Marley, right?"

"And you never know about it. No one ever tells you, no one ever opens their mouth up about the situation to you. Now six years, you finally find out." He slowly tapped my knee.

"How would you feel?" He sat back in his chair, placing his hand under his chin while he awaited my answer.

"I get it." Was all I said as I sighed deeply.

"I get what you're saying but Mitch is not going to forgive me. He's not going to okay with it. He's not going to accept it. He'd going to hate me and he's going to walk out because this is something very personal to him."

"He's been wanting a baby for so long from me and I always give him the run around about it. So to know that he could've that and I took that away from him, he'd going to be livid and I don't want to deal with that."

"I shouldn't have to deal with that." I spoke sternly.

"Especially considering what he'd done to me. He broke me at a young age and I had every right to do what I want with my body." I expressed, looking up at Dr. Sispu while he watched closely.

"I agree that you have every right to do what you want and what you would like with your body, Zuria." He began.

"But Mitch has every right to know what you've done. Especially since the two of you are still together and in love."

"The both of you will only heal once the secrets and the lies are brought to the light. From the both of you." He went onto say, making me raise my eyebrows.

"You both hold so much value in each other's lives and I feel there's a deep connection between the two of you. But the only way to save this partnership is not to blame the other but to truly understand each other from where the both of you are coming from."

Saying nothing else, he wrote some things down in his book as I sat there processing all of his words. I knew he was right and I knew the truth would come out one day, I just never pictured myself doing this.

Never in a million years.

"Alright.." He trailed off, finally looking up.

"So now what we're going to do is invite Mitchell back into the room." He said, making me instantly tense up.

"I dont kno-"

"You'll be fine, Zuria. I promise this will only help the two of you. I believe the two of you deserve happiness and this is the first step."

"Do you agree?" He asked and I nodded slowly.

"Yeah." I agreed, knowing he was right, I was just afraid. I didn't think Mitch would forgive me and I knew he would be upset but he needed to know that I'd only did this because of him and his baby mama.

I would've never done any of this had we not been in the space we were at the time.

"Alright." Dr. Soapy stood to his feet and made his way over to the door to tell Mitch to come back in.

Fuck. I thought to myself as I sat there, chomping down on my lip from the nervousness.

I can't do this.

*