Cimorelli Oneshots

Reflection (An Amy Story)

I look in the mirror and see a fat, short girl staring back at me. I hate her. Which means I hate me. Why can't I just be like Lisa? She's sooo pretty and she has literally nothing to be insecure about.

I sigh and turn away from the mirror.
What can I do? I hate my reflection. I hate my life. I hate myself. There's just so much pushing down on me, and it's drowning everything out. I honestly don't know what I have left to give.

I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a small breath. And then another. I try to stay steady, one slow breath at a time. But it doesn't help at all. I groan in frustration. Maybe I should just write it all out. That's what Kath does sometimes. Okay, I guess I'll do that.

Hi Journal. Amy here. Or maybe I should say "the ugly girl's back." That's what I am. Like, why do I have to have Turner's? It sucks so bad. I'm short, but I'm also fat. Actually, it's probably not Turner's that makes me look bad. It's just me and my stupid self. AND I know everyone hates me. Ugh, I should just make a list about everything I hate about myself. Woopee. Brace yourselves children and come along for the ride.

Things I Hate About Myself

My height (why did I have to be 4'10?)
My eyes (Christina's and Dani's eye are such a pretty shade of green, but mine are just blah)
My weight (why am I so fat?)
My face (it's so ugly... why?)
My personality (no one likes it... not even me)

I start to scribble faster and faster, writing messily until I finish writing the last thing on the list.

My... everything (there's nothing good about me... I'm worthless)

I sign my name, xoxo Amy, and put down the pen. Well, I'm pretty sure that did me no good. Whatever. I know it's all true anyway. I just want to distract myself for a bit, so I go on my phone. I scroll through a few pictures of some dogs and cats, then decide to go look at Lisa's Instagram. Wow... she's so pretty and perfect. I comment on a few of her posts with an ily big sis!, great outfit, and a few hearts.

I decide to check out my Insta too. I click on the latest post, a picture of my sisters and I at the beach. There are over 500 comments and 15,000 likes. I start to scroll through the comments. There are plenty of heart emojis, love you guys', and comments focusing on the beautiful background. But as I continue to look through the comments, my heart drops.

All the sisters are so pretty, except the short one.

What's up with the fat girl? Is she on drugs or something?

Love Lisa, hate Amy. Get out of here, shrimp.

Christina 💓, Katherine, 💖, Lisa 💝, Amy 🤮, Lauren, 💕, Dani💗

Shortie trys to b cool but she's just so ugly and worthless

Amy looks really gross in this picture... but the rest of you guys are so pretty, especially Lisa! ♡♡♡

The final comment makes me gasp.

You know, Amy should just go and kill herself. She's ugly and fat and doesn't fit in with her sisters. No one would care if she was gone. We'd be better off without her!

It's true, though. It's all true. I'm unwanted, not needed. Whoever that was, they're right. Slowly, I walk over to the drawer that holds my sleeping pills. I'll be glad to leave this earth, no one wants me here anyway. Just as I start twisting the cap open, Lisa calls out my name. Quickly, I drop the bottle back in the drawer.

"Yes?" I call.

"Hey, I just saw some of the comments on your last post. They were nasty. Are you okay?" I nod quickly. "Yep, those comments don't bother me anymore."

"Oh, okay, good." Lisa smiles warmly. "Just wanted to make sure. See ya later for dinner!" I smile back brightly until she leaves the room. Then I let my facade fall and mutter under my breath, "Actually, you won't be seeing me later. You and the rest of the world."

Before I lose the nerve, I grab the bottle of pills and swallow them all. Then I move to the mirror to stare at my reflection one last time. I blink a few times. How is this possible? The girl staring back at me is beautiful. She's short, but she has pretty eyes and a nice face. I love her. Which means... I love me. But it's too late. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. And then everything goes black.

________________________________

A girl steps in front of the mirror. She hates who she is, how she's like everybody else. She wants to be short, like her younger sister, different. She sighs, and steps away from the mirror, angry at her reflection.

She's unaware of her sister in the room next door, unconscious, an empty bottle on the dresser.

She doesn't know how her younger sister's story turned out.

And she has no idea that her own story will wind up in the same place.

So she sits down, oblivious, and begins writing in her journal. Hi Journal. Lisa here. Or should I say "ugly here"...

This is kinda depressing, I'm not gonna lie. But I also really like it haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this oneshot! Comment, like, or do whatever you want to do :D