Love Conquers All (COMPLETED)

Chapter 17

THOUGHTS AND ESCAPE

Right after the storm Gulf booked a flight to US. He has to go there since Techno needs his help at the same time he needs time to think.

Gulf is just sitting inside Techno's office while looking some of the designs he made for Techno's upcoming project. He's been so busy since the day he arrived. He's doing that not just because it's important but also to avoid his self from thinking so much about Mew. 

Techno noticed Gulf's mood but he didn't utter a word he just let Gulf do whatever he wants. After a week, all things are settled but Gulf don't want to go home yet. So, that's the time Techno decided to talk to him. 

'Cielo, what's wrong? I know you have another reason for coming here. Tell me?' Techno asked. 'I don't know too cielo, I really don't know!' Gulf answered. 'okay, maybe I can help, can you tell me what happened?' Gulf tells him everything and somehow, Techno is confused too. 'You were happy spending time with him right? so what's the problem? if he'll confess then what's wrong with that? you can just reject him if you don't like him and accept if you want to. As easy as that,' Techno asked a series of questions. 'actually, i don't know. Yes, I was happy but whenever I think of what he's showing and telling me makes me afraid. I'm afraid mi cielo. Not just because I ain't ready for that yet but also the fact that I don't want to hurt him. You know hurt people hurt people. I'm still in the process of moving on and it's still hurts. If  Mew will keep his self close to me, I'm sure he'll end up broken. At the same time, I ain't sure if he really likes me though, you know he used to date women before' Gulf explained. Techno understands Gulf's doubts. Gulf just started picking up his broken pieces and it's already hard enough. Then, there's Mew messing around his cielo's mind. He tried to find words to say and said  'You know what? you're just overthinking! he didn't confess to you so maybe he just really wanted to be friend with you but if he wants more than that I'm sure he'll confess in the near future but for now, don't think too much about it. If ever that happens, then it depends on you. Just know that I'll support you all the way. For now, enjoy the moment with him as what i've heard from you both of you are happy whenever you're together and that's what matters the most. You don't need to worry so much about it. Let the future decide it for you and just go with the flow' 

After two more days, Gulf decided to go home but unfortunately he caught a cold. So, he's just staying at home and giving his self plenty of time to think. He never had this kind of confusions before with Tharn as he really didn't have any idea what Tharn want that time. He just thought that Tharn just wanted to annoy him. But when he confessed, he directly rejected him but Tharn didn't give up until he fell in love with him. However, Mew is different. He really can't tell if Mew is just joking around or he's being serious. But whenever he thinks that Mew is serious he's also afraid. So this confusion keeps messing his mind. 

'If I'll stay close to him there's a big possibility that one of us will fall in love. If it's me, I'll end up being broken again because Mew falling in love with me is way too impossible. If he'll fall in love with me I might hurt him, I ain't ready yet. Even if we'll love each other in the future that wouldn't be enough as an assurance that we won't be hurting each other. We're living in two opposite world and opposite personality so I'm sure it won't work. Urghhh, what should I do? Should I stop as early as now? Should I just go back to US and escape this confusing feeling? Or just stay here and go with the flow? Ahhh, whatever I have to stop thinking about this for now or else I won't recover from cold' Gulf said to his self and close his eyes then, fall asleep. 

On the other hand, After the storm Mew was so excited to see Gulf again. However, he got disappointed not to see Gulf the whole day. He also went to Gulf's condo but it seems that he's not there. He spend his week thinking what happen to Gulf and if Gulf is avoiding him. He's in deep thought when Run interrupted him. 'Hey bud, what's wrong you've been like that for a few days now!. But instead of answering the question Mew just responded Run with a question' Do you have any idea where Gulf is? I asked you to look for him right? 'He's in the US his assistant told me that Gulf needed to go there because of some emergency in their company there' Run answered. Mew felt a pain in his heart. He's in the US but why he didn't tell me, is he avoiding me? said Mew at the back of his mind. He then asked, 'Do you think he's avoiding me? do you think I've done something wrong?' Run sighed before he answers 'No, I don't think so but maybe you did the wrong move. You kept telling him that you wanted to be friend with him right? For me, that's not what you should do. You should break his walls first and make him feel that you're sincere and your intention is pure' 'Breaking his walls, that sounds difficult and you know that I'm not  really good at expressing myself' Mew answered. 'Well, you have to work on with that, if you really want to get him as your lover. Since, you've started this, why don't you do your best and give everything then?' Run suggested. 'But you know that giving my all to Gulf is risky Run, every side of this is difficult. From breaking his walls to entering his heart. How can I risk my all when I know there's no assurance I could have him in the end?' Mew responded. 'Again, Mew there's nothing sure when it comes to matter like this but you can have the slightest hope when you try. You won't know unless you try giving your all. Let me asked you these questions then, Will it be okay for you to see him with another man holding his hands? Will it be okay to see him happy with someone else and not with you? Will you not regret that decision in the future? Remember, whether you give up now or continue fighting for him, you'll still feel the pain but the pain out of regret is the most painful one and since there's no certainty between both decision then why not try choosing a  decision in which you can have a hope? Look, it's all up to you okay? Gulf might go home in a few days and while waiting why don't you think about this again?' Run said and go out. 

'I want to escape this to avoid hurting myself  but Run is actually right. There's nothing sure in this world and just by thinking Gulf walking with another man hurts me. Hurts me so bad' 

Mew decided to think over things again, reminiscing all the moments he had with Gulf makes him smile like there's no tomorrow,  he never felt this extreme happiness with anyone in the past and he can't deny that he wanted to spend his time with Gulf and be happy with him. Gulf made him forget all the uncertainties in his life whenever they're together. He even forget about his cruel father. Thinking about Gulf always give him a mixture of feelings, love, happiness at the same time doubt and fear. He's happy at the same time afraid that he might be the only one left being broken just like in the past. He doesn't want to experience pain again but at the same time, he wanted to feel the happiness he never felt with anyone before. Before he could decide what to do he must figure out what he really feels for Gulf first.

Days without seeing Gulf's annoyed face made him insane. He misses him so much. So much that he always go to Gulf's condo to check if he's back and go home disappointed when he can't see any trace of Gulf from there. 

These lonely days without Gulf made him realize one thing, this is not an ordinary like anymore but something deeper. Though there's still fear inside him. He finally decided to continue making a move on Gulf. He might get hurt in the end but now that he's certain about it he's trying his  best to be prepared for that. 

'I'd rather do my best today and get hurt in the end than being hurt everyday out of regret. But before that, I must try changing myself to be better for Gulf. I must show him that I can do everything for him.' He said to his self.

While waiting  Gulf to come back, he's doing his best to change his self. Starting from the very basic like doing house chores specially cooking. Though, it's hard he can't help but smile, trying to imagine Gulf's reaction when he'll find out his changes.

P.S. Next chapter, home.

Thank you for reading!

Have a great day!

yours truly,

indayellie