sat by the ocean

hell

I don't know what the hell is going on
everything is static
except the static is made out of emotion
and I want to cry
but I don't know how to shed tears
I keep using my old fear of being human as an excuse
do you fear me?

I am from hell,
and I was made to walk this earth
on unsteady feet
and with tears in my eyes

I am from the darkest depths of bad,
where murder is just a poor man's fancy
do you know me?

I am looking for someone
and I have found many people
and none of them are her
and none of them come close
but I love them and cannot, and will not, let go

I dwell in shadow
and die in sunlight
my bones are brittle and cracked
would you walk on them
if I said there was gold inside?

do you feel me?

in the darkest of nights,
when a random wash of fear sets in,
it is me.

in the coldest of winter nights,
when the room is lit in warm colors and you're warm and cozy and the energy is soft,
it is me.

when all is delicate and you're about to burst
and spit on everything you hate and cry at the statue's feet,
it is me.

when lightning cracks and pauses in mid-air for a second,
just to catch your eye,
it is me.

when you have given up,
and when you have triumphed,
it is still me.

I am not light or shadow,
I am simply

I am not wind or fire,
I am simply

I am not death nor hollow,
I am simply

I am simply open space
do you fear me?

the circle is forever,
and I am not.
I am eternity.
do you know me?