sat by the ocean

dark

I even hesitate to smile
in the light of day
lamenting my struggles
on a digital page
fingers so fast
eyes even faster
would I live or survive?
sometimes I choose the latter

am I breathing in the dark?
let my colors bleed out
tangled legs, but there are three
where did that last one come from?

heart-a-rush
got a crush-
-crushing weight on my back
play a game with me,
won't you?

tell me what to do for a day,
tell me exactly what to think and how to feel
sun beating down on my back as I'm by the riverside
now, why is it I think I'd actually feel more alive?

I'm alive with you
and I shrivel and die in sunlight sometimes
but you're patient enough to regrow me

can't help if I feel this way,
their words imprinted on my brain
can't help if I feel the same,
gotta pretend to wanna go with the grain

but my heart's beating at the speed of light,
oh, I'm in trouble now
gotta weakness in my system and it make me feel so strong
my lungs are begging, screaming for air
oh, no, I'm deep in trouble now
there's a glitch in my circuits
and it's infecting all of me
and I can't shut it off
and I don't want to

I thought I couldn't feel that
thought I was just peculiar
but oh, dear lords, somebody catch me
I'm falling around the clock

heart-a-rush
I both live and survive
and I'm feeling rather flattered
palm trees swaying with my hips
like the past never mattered
gold lights, dark nights, glimmer in my eyes
high heights, left rights, curveball on the rise
worms in my stomach 'cause I've never got it right
until now.