sat by the ocean

I cant remember

I can't remember
the sound of your voice
I can't remember
what you told me to say

I can't remember
the sound of whitenoise
I can't remember
the color of the day

I can't remember
what they said not to forget
am I going crazy, or
is something undone yet?

they say if I've forgotten,
it's not important
but what if my life depends on it,
and the key is accordant?

if pain must come,
may it come quickly
if death shall come,
may it be swift

so I won't remember
the pain in my heart
or the ripping
of my body's rift

forgetfulness spurs me
onto the next height
that I fear but don't remember
when I sleep in the night

my nightmares are placid
easy to forget
my routine is boring
but I haven't lost it yet

am I going crazy, or
is this a different song?
am I going insane?
I don't know what's wrong

every day, a new hardship
or at least, so I think
but they won't remind me
when did I last drink?

(pause bitch)

if pain must come,
may it come quickly
if death shall come,
may it be swift

so I won't remember
the pain in my chest
when they say
I'm not doing my best

when they say
I'm not doing my best

they don't know
that I'm doing my best

but it's all just so easy to forget

I can't remember
the sound of your voice
I can't remember
if you told me to stay

which way is north,
am I going the right way?
I can't see, I can't think
there is nothing left

destruction surrounds me
but I don't say a word
only I can see it
only I get hurt

if pain can be measured,
is it inches or feet?
if my mind can be measured,
what did I lose?