sat by the ocean

noise, too much noise, too much

noise.
too much.
just want the softest voices,
kindest words

noise.
too much.
loud and scary from the next room over
who's to say it won't get me next?

quiet fingers
as I try to keep my nails from hitting the screen
it's difficult
but what's more difficult is remembering to breathe

not a single response
only a newly formed comfort
which does me no good
when I crave the familiar

sing me a sweet melody
cast your witchy spells in a soft tone of voice
share with me the darkness, hand me violets
swiftly, darling, sensitivity is here

my cat is trying to sleep upstairs
I'd call her down,
but it's midnight,
too loud

I'm panicking
with my heart racing in my chest
there's no comforts

I have no want for music,
no earbuds to stick silent in my ears to muffle the world

there's no comforts

your voice, dripping with love
is just a pleasing memory right now
because you my dear are asleep

drip
drop
drip

I am of moonbeams and desire
and forged by sunbeams and judgement
I am made from the light of dying stars,
the debris from dead planets and solar systems
I am flesh and bone and beating heart
and my blood boils on the pavement in the soft sunshine
lay me down before tomorrow peaks
so that I may catch some shut-eye

in the darkness of this room I do not walk
in the pale light of the moon I do not talk
in the quiet lull of sleep, I still do not
in the enchanting pull so deep, I feel the past rot

noise.
too much.
I feel it burning in my head and ears,
leaking out like hot wax

noise.
too much.
even typing feels very hard
because English is becoming strange and foreign.

noise.
too much.
I'm returning ever slowly into reality

noise.
too much.
I like the darkness because she doesn't hide the light from me.