A Thousand Times by E Janetulip

Chapter 22

"알잖아 우린 존재만으로 서로를 더 빛나게 해."
"[We know, we only exist to make each other brighter]."

⭐

Please, always stay with me.

-Aurora (오로라)

2017. 11. 11.

Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. I haven't written in this diary for weeks, a few months to be exact. The last time I have written here, it was still summer. Summer season is already done and we're in the last month of autumn now. Less than a month before winter comes.

A lot of things happened for the previous months. About the school, it is still the same. What do we expect? it is school. Homework, projects, requirement, practice, activities... But we only have a few months left, so I better cherish the moments when I can still call myself a high schooler. I'm sure, I can still tolerate it before I go crazy. I can still push through 'til the end of the school year, February.

I still can't believe I'm almost done with high school. 90 more days before graduation. I already want to finish high school, but at the same time, I don't. I'm still not ready for college. I don't want to think about college this early. I still don't know what I want to take. If I should continue pursuing a music career or major in studying psychology.

I have always wanted to become a psychologist since I was a kid, but as I grow up, I also find the music interesting. I have a lot in my mind for me to become. I also want to become an author and own a café, be a businesswoman. I don't know, I still haven't made my mind up. Talking about this, makes me have anxiety.

It seems like yesterday when we were still practicing for Seonghwa and I's project plus activities in Music class. I remember, after being partnered with him, after spending time practicing and hanging out with him. It felt like yesterday. That was also the time when I realized this crush that I have for him ain't going away.

We're happy and contented. We are getting strong today, it's a giant step each day. Being with him is the best decision I made. But being in a relationship is not just about sunshine and rainbows. It also comes with rains and storms. We've gone through fights, have misunderstandings, we bicker... But at the end of the day, those things are the reasons why we have this relationship, a strong one. Every day, I can feel my feelings grow for him as time goes by.

Him, he is everything I could ask for. He's my other half. We support each other's dreams and desires. We listen and try to understand one another. We've been open, we communicate freely about our emotions, thoughts, words, and actions. He trusts me and I trust him. He believes in me, motivates, inspires, and strengthens me. With him, I don't need to act or be someone else. I don't need to pretend as he loves me for who I am. He accepts my flaws and me too about his. He brings out the best version of me. The other side of ours we haven't shown.

I haven't heard anything about him being jealous again. I smiled at the thought. I'm still keeping my promise to myself, to make him feel assure he has me, that I won't leave and not giving him any reasons to become jealous ever again. And our promise, that we'll always have each other, it still is.

"안녕 (Annyeong)," he greeted once he arrived.

Giving him a side hug I greeted him back, "안녕 (Annyeong)."

We were in our house, he was helping me bake a cake for San's birthday tomorrow. Supposedly, we would do this after school ended yesterday so he wouldn't know about us baking him a cake because as I said before every Wednesday and Friday San is going to their taekwondo studio. But we couldn't do it yesterday, San was with us, he managed to convince his father again to not look after their studio. Sometimes, what we have expected in life won't turn out to what we have planned.

Luckily, we still have today to try doing it. I haven't tried making a cheesecake before and that is what the mountain wants for his birthday. As to Seonghwa's situation, when I also made him a cake, it was fine since I made him a strawberry cake before. I already know what he wants in a cake but with the volleyball athlete, every birthday he wants to try a new cake.

Seonghwa was beside me, in charge of making the icing and being the judge of the cheesecake.

"우리의 메시지를 위해 우리는 무엇을 넣어야 할까? (Uriui mesijireul wihae urineun mueoseul neoheoyahalkka?)" I turned to him, asking what we should put for our message.

"너는 우리가 가장 좋아하는 산이다 [You are our favorite mountain]."

"넌 우리의 가장 위대한 모험이야 [You are our greatest adventure]."

"너는 나의 빛나는 별이야 [You are my shining star]," I said, staring back at those deep brown eyes.

He looked at me for seconds with a sweet smile lingering his face before saying anything, "넌 내 오로라야 [And you're my Aurora]." His eyes were twinkling while saying that to me. His words will always affect me. I so love this guy.

"잠깐 눈을 감아라 [Close your eyes for a second]."

"왜? (Wae?)" wondering why he wanted me to close my eyes as I obeyed what he said.

"지금 열어봐도 돼? [Can I open them now?]"

"네 (Neh)," he said and I opened my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, his eyes were the same level to mine and his face was close to mine.

"깍궁 (Kkakkung)," I heard him made a sound of a peek a boo.

My smile soon disappeared when I felt him put some icing on the tip of my nose.

"아이쉬, 진짜? (Aish, jinjja?)" I said in disbelief as he smirked in return. With that action of his, he ruined the moment and ruined my make up. That afternoon, I still needed to come to my mom's flower shop to help her after making San-ah his cheesecake.

He laughed at my facial expression. I couldn't help it when he laugh, his laugh will always make me smile. He's always been like that, annoying me. I am already used to it. Putting some icing on my finger, I also took a chance to also did the same to him.

I stayed still and let him do whatever he wanted to my face. From the look of his face, he looked like he was enjoying it. I looked at the mirror to see what he drew. He had drawn whiskers on my face. Does he think of me as a cat? I let out a deep sigh then looked where he was. He was avoiding my stares but a smile was still clear on that face of his.

"네가 행복하다면 그게 중요해 [If you're happy, that's all that matters]," I said walking back to wipe my face with a towel before continuing to work.

With everything he does, whether he annoys me, I cannot help but love him. And he knows it. That's the problem.