You know, I thought 8th grade was gonna be a lot a fun, I really did. I had such high hopes because the year started off great for me.
Everything went to shit in that first month. I got broken up with, almost killed myself, cut so bad I can't even begin to tell you.
Then I got "better." Better as in, I covered everything up as much as I could, which I didn't do very good at.
I was supposed to kill myself in December. I'm not even supposed to be alive right now and I wish I wasn't.
January, February and March were a bit of a blur for me, and then April, I started cutting again. I didn't want to to be honest.
May, was shit. Found some stuff out, cut bad and realized I wanted to cut, I needed to.
I slowly realized that the people I thought would stay by my side, my so called "friends" pushed me out. Suddenly I was either alone or with my sister, the only person I could count on to be there.
I would sit in my bed and just watch snap stories, seeing all of my "friends" hang out blocks away from me.
I learned to not care, to keep to myself about how I felt. But god it still hurts.
It hurts that no one is there, that no one would even know if I killed myself. The fact that there's no one left. Why did this year turn out like this?
Why did my entire life turn out like this? Why is everything so shit?
Why.
