FIND THE TRUTH INSIDE YOU (Snowbarry)

15. Chapter: Reality

Caitlin's pov

I wondered, what he meant with his last words. What just happened? I was shocked and filled with mixed feelings like confusion, joy, desire and pain. And I had so many questions and thoughts driving through my head.

For like five minutes I just stand at the door not moving. Then my brain started to work again. A spark of hope had burned itself in that moment of the Kiss. But now I kind of doubted a real Intention. Probably it was meaningless, he was sad and he had a fight with Iris, of course it was...was it? And more and more it felt like a dream, in two ways: good and not real! I was sure it was just a onetime thing, but I also had to admit, that I really liked it and...

"Okay stop, I can't stand this anymore"

Killer Frost interruptet my thoughts.

"Listen, yes maybe it was nice but firstly, stop having so many thoughts about it, it's not helping. And second, you are probably right you should not be to happy. Rather expect, that he was just looking for some distraction. I really don't want you to get hurt"

I sighed. Even it was hard, she was probably right "No expections!", that was my new motto.

"Okay,  you're right.

Barry's pov

I was walking on clouds, forgetting all the reality around me, I could just think about the kiss. When I reached the lab I was smiling all over my face.

"Why are you so happy?" Cisco asked.
"I've heard what happened last night, Iris told me. She is waiting for you in the speed lab. She feels really sorry, I think you guys will figure this whole situation out."
He continued with a suprised face  "and seeing your smile, you are probably really confident. Or you are not mad at her anymore? Sometimes I don't get you Barry!"

When Cisco started to speak I fell down from my clouds, back into reality. And one of those realities I forgot about, was waiting for me.

"Right... Iris..." I slowly said rubbing my neck. I sighed, "In the speed lab you said?"

"Yes" Cisco said, raising his eyebrows. Then he shook his head. ,,You are acting weird, Barry!"
"I know, thats because I feel weird".

"When you came in, you didn't seem to be too unhappy and now you are pretty down again. Iris told me her point of view, and she seemed to be objective enough, but how are you feeling, whats your side of the story?"

"I'll tell you later. I guess I have to talk
to Iris now"

"Okay, by the way, were did you sleep last night? You know you could have come to my house before you sleep under a bridge or something" He teased me.

"Very funny" I said smirking. "No I actually distracted myself with work and helped Cait here and then I just took her couch"

"I see, you choose her couch over mine" Cisco said in comical way. ,,just kidding" he added. ,,Alright, don't let Iris wait."

I went to the speed lab, I didn't go in but rather stayed at the door. When I saw her, I realised, that I was still mad, but then I also felt guilty for the kiss with Caitlin.
I crossed my arms and leaned at the door frame. Iris hadn't seen me yet, she was walking through the room, in her thinking motion.

"So... you wanted to see me?" I asked after a while.

She jerked a bit, hearing my voice. But then her face lighted up in relief. ,,Barry, you came...I...I was worried.
"Of course I came, but listen Iris..."
I started.
"Wait... let me talk first please I just need to say what I have to say."

I nodded, while I moved into the room and sat down at the stairs.

"Thanks, so...I know it's not enough, and it doesn't delete yesterday, but I want you to know, that I am truly sorry. I behaved terrible and I know that the last weeks, everything was a little bit off, and yesterday teared us even more apart. But I want to put all effort in there to save our relationship. I am ready to do everything to make it up to you." She stopped, looking at me,  I didn't know what to say I just sighed and swallowed. "Please Barry, I miss you"
She whispered now.

I had hoped, that she was still anrgy with me, that she wouldn't say sorry at all because she would think she was right. Somewhere deep in me I wished she had behaved like she always does, so I would have had a reason to let it all go and not be the bad one. A reason to pretend I was doing everything right.

But I wasn't doing everything right. I was married to her, I made a promise to her, till death tears us apart... Thats nothing you just drop. And how could I not forgive her, after that. She did what everybody would have asked for, in my Situation... at least everybody who would still be in love with her. I looked at her, and there was nothing I felt simply nothing. Since I kissed Caitlin, I knew Iris wasn't the one, I had never felt like this before. How could that have happened, my whole life I only could see Iris and now everything seemed  so pointless. Because if I was right, than I had been living a lie and that...

,,Barry, please say something" Iris Interrupted my thoughts.

,,Sorry, I was thinking" I muttered and stood up, crossing my hands behind my head.
And because I felt guilty and didn't want to hurt her, I did what I had to do.

,,Well I think you are right, we should try to work this out" I tried a smile, that didn't quite work out though.

But Iris didn't seem to care. She smiled for the two of us, sighing in relief.
"Thank you Barry, I am glad you think the same way, I do. I was afraid you had already given up on us" she said while pulling me into a hug.

I can't make it to easy 😁. Just wanna try to make it as real as possible.
Hope you enjoyed it. I am working on the two next chapters right now.