Letters of Unconciousness

68th Hour

~ Gabriella ~

Nate,

I do hope and pray that you will not ever read this letter or any of those which may follow. I do wish that I would be awake and kicking. I do wish I will be seeing your face as I lay in my hospital bed. You towering over my sore and tired body. You smiling with glee and happiness because I am alive and all these worries I made you all endure were just worried upon and they were not truths.

I hope that for the sake of those around me I shall be awake within the 48 hours and perhaps you wouldn't have even had to read the last letter. I hope that it all went to plan. I hope that the insert thing went in nicely. I hope that my body accepts it and welcomes it to the family that is my inners. I hope that within a few days or weeks I will be able to enjoy solid foods as often as I previously have.

I hope that no one has to go through as much torture as I have. I hope that no one has to go through as much torture and you and everyone around me has. You have all watched me and watched my every move cautiously waiting for the time when I will need you to catch me or get me something. I hope that nobody ever has to do that again.

I hope that one day you will learn this is all a crazy dream of yours and I'm not actually ill and you don't actually like me. I hope that you will wake up and your life will be exactly the same as it was before I went into hospital for the first visit. I hope that you will never have to face such trouble ever.

I hope that you will somehow detach yourself from me and find a lovely girl. A nice girl with an amazing personality. A girl with achievable dreams but an imagination as wild as the winds. I hope for you all the best things in the world. I hope that you do not have to wait long for these things.

I hope that I have not hindered anything about you. I hope that you are merely stronger both mentally and emotionally. I hope you can use this to build on. I hope that when you settle down and get married that you will be the happiest soul. I hope that you have children because I know just how much you adore them. I hope that you have both a son and a daughter. I hope for your sake they come in that order as you wish for the older brother to take care of his baby sister. I hope for your daughter to be called Hope Alexandra because I know just how much you love that name and cannot wait to write it on a birth certificate.

I hope for you to be the marvellous dad I know you have the ability.

But mostly I hope for you the many joys in the world, the joy of laughter, happiness, adventure, love, and so, so, so much more. The world, the fates themselves owe you that much.

It is now one day before the surgery but it is so early in the morning that it is practically two days. Just so you have an idea of when this was written.

Remember : You are a beautiful ship and you will not sink. You have no anchor to weigh you down and you have no limits. You can sail as far as the winds will take you and as far as the oceans allow. You are strong and you are free.

Live beautifully,
Gabriella