Escape || an LGBT+ story (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 1

Hello everyone, I am Jay, a seventeen -eighteen in 93 days from now actually- year old boy stuck in a girl's body and the closet, who can not wait until the day he reaches the legal age to move out and live on his own, start studying and most of all: to go into transition without having to face my parents.

I have the luck that there's only a summer break keeping me from my freedom, because I will go to Florida International University in Miami after that and move to the city with my best friend Jamie. I just have to get myself through these 12 weeks and then I'm free. It's the second week right now. 

Why can't I face my parents? Well, let me explain. This church I am in with my parents -which they of course admire greatly and full-heartedly agree with- has somewhat stayed stuck in the eighteenth century or something, so it has always had a non-conforming traditional mindset. You know: " oh social media distracts you from the Bible", "being gay is a sin" and about "people like me"... oh wait, they don't say anything about transgenderism, because they completely ignore it's existence, if they mention it the only thing they say is "God created man and woman, not anything in-between" while in fact I'm not "in-between", I'm just 100% a guy -trapped in a girl's body, yeah. That's why it took me such a damn long time to realize what it was that felt so wrong about it. It's only been two years since I realized, I was fifteen at that time. 

For most people who know me, I'm Jasmin, the more or less weird girl in the sense that I like to wear oversized and boyish clothes and never wear skirts or dresses and makeup. I know makeup is not a taboo for boys, but I'm just lazy. I'm not the only "girl" like that, but well, the people in my church are whiny bitches who used to ship me with their sons and now they are like: "You are so pretty, why are you trying to be unattractive?" like RUDE, I'm not trying to be unattractive, I just don't feel the need to make an effort to conform to your standards and increase my gender dysphoria even more. Besides, why should I be "attractive" for people who can't even accept me the way I am, how are you expecting that to work out?

Well, that's where my inner conflict kicks in. I have this crush, Joshua. I've known him for three years now, when our parents became friends, and I have liked him ever since. Before that, I knew him as the boy sitting diagonally in front of me in church. I kind of thought he was handsome, but I only fell for him on that day when we went out with both families to a nice park a few kilometers away, with trees and water, you know, kinda romantic, but I'll save that story for later. 

Also, I'm gay, if you couldn't tell.

Joshua is also Jamie's brother, by the way. Yes, my best friend again. Actually his name is James, but like, Jamie suits him better. James sounds like a straight man in a suit trying to seduce sexy ladies with his deep Hollywood voice, and that's far from Jamie. He'd rather seduce guys. He'd seduce my brother if I had one. Fortunately, I don't have one. Also, he doesn't have a real deep voice or something, it can actually get squeaky and higher than mine if he's really stressed or excited. 

Jamie is the gayest homo sapiens I have met in my entire life. 

Not like I have met many gay people in my life. Well, I probably did, but everyone in my church is so deep in the closet that they are finding Narnia. Well, not the nice Narnia. They become delusional and convince themselves they are straight, and marry pretty woman and have a family, still wondering to themselves: "why do I not feel anything when making kids?" because they probably can't remember that they are in the closet anymore, just thinking that it is normal life.

But Jamie's existence just make me question everything that is supposed to make humans different from animals. I cannot understand how everyone still believes he is straight. The poor guy is so stuck in the closet, if he's come out, his parents would just kick him back in. Actually, he came out multiple times, literally, in all possible ways: mugs, confetti, cakes, a little pride flag parade with his sisters, T-shirts, et cetera. Eventually he sat down and was very honest saying: 'Mom, dad, I am gay.' And these people bitchass- I'm sorry, I don't have the words for it, they smiled at him and said: 'So you don't like feminine girls, how about a tomboy?'