Luna Dea

18) A Broken Girl

Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it, and you'll survive.
-Cassandra Clare

Avalon pov

It burns. Burning fire. Screaching swords. Wanting.. No.. Needing relief. The pain of knowing this will happen every day. Knowing that the pain I feel right now won't be visible on my body tomorrow, like it was only a dream.

It burns. My throat scratchy from all my screaming. Oh, how it burns. Blisters litter my body. There will be no relief. This is my life now.

The lighter flicks off and I am granted release, for now. My head falls limp. Sweat dripping down my face. Tears burn my eyes, exhaustion sweeps over me. This is my life now. I can feel the blisters slowly healing back together.

"Hows our little moon goddess doing? Is she going to give me one of her gorgeous smiles again?" Liko asks.

I don't answer him, I can't, my voice is hoarse from all my screaming.

"Come on Avalon."

Avalon.

Avalon.

"Avalon. Wake up please."

I shoot up. I am still in Jaycobs office. I look up.

"Thank goddess you're awake. You were screaming and thrashing around. What's going on Ava?" Jaycob asks.

I am silent. I stand up and check my body for the injuries I had in my dream. I know I'm not going back there, but it's just so real, so vivid. The worst month of my life was spent in there, and I have lived many months.

" Please answer me." Jaycob pleads.

I won't. I can't let him in my heart yet.

"Come on, we have business to do." I walk out, leaving him wide eyed and shouting after me.

I hate this. I hate lying to him. I hate not telling him anything. Fate is toying with me. I want to tell him, I really do. But I am not ready to trust him with my heart yet. If I let him see, he will be repulsed, inside, I am just a scared little girl, scared, mental disorders and all.

I go to Jaycobs room to change. I look in my bag and see that I have no clean clothes left. I sigh. Maybe Calla, Haley or Diana will have something.

I walk around looking for one of them. I search and search but I can't find anyone. I get tired and give up and go to the kitchen.

I hear voices in the kitchen. I brace myself for the stares and questions and walk in. Calla and Haley look like they are giving the rogue, Mark an interrogation. They both have their arms crossed and are staring at him. He has his arms up in defence.

"Leave poor Mark alone now." I laugh, a bit of my old self shining through.

"Oh, Avalon. We didn't hear you come in." Calla drops her offensive look.

Haley and Mark just turn to me and say hi.

"Don't mind me, just getting some food." I walk past them and towards the fridge.

I open the fridge and look at what's inside.

"So, should we call you the moon goddess now?" Mark asks.

I grab some cake that I found in there, and whip around.

"Nope, call me Avalon. I don't want to be treated differently to anyone else."