Evanstan One shots

You've Gone Too Quiet

A/N: alright!!! This is the LAST part. Also WARNING! This chapter may be triggering because there is a suicide attempt. Please please take note if you have any intention to self harm, please find help. You are needed in this world and it would be a darker place without you. If no one has told you, I love you!
Anyways, enjoy!

I guess I should have watched my mouth. Now you're gone and I'm stuck alone. Yes I have Elizabeth but she's rarely home. She's taken double shift. Don't know why. Maybe not to deal with my depressed ass.

Either way, I miss you. And I know I fucked up but I want you back in my life. Even though I know it's a lot to ask.

I don't see Alex anymore. I'm assuming he turned into a shut in but my mind fears the worse. He may left and convinced you that you're alone. You may convince yourself you've lost everything.

And God only knows what you'll do when it becomes too much.

---Seb---

The days go back slower and the arguments seemed to have less fire now that I don't fight back.
I don't do much of anything anymore which makes Alex's words true. I'm useless. Not helpful. Whatever to hit me personally.
But he left anyways. He said he wasn't going to deal with a depressed "bitch" who won't satisfy him anymore. That means in more ways than just one but you get the idea.

Yes, I do regret making this decision. I feel more alone than ever. But even when I was with him, I still felt alone.

But this makes me realize it's not about who you have. It's about the connection you have with someone. And Alex and I haven't had a connection since our first year.

So, yes, I miss you. And yes, I want you back.
But you're gone and I'm alone.
Everyone is gone.

So, no one will know I'm gone.
But I just a few words to say to you. But I don't have the heart to tell you face to face.

I grab a pen and paper then begin writing down everything that needed to be said. And I go down stairs as it's only a few minutes until Chris comes home and I slipped the letter in the crack of his box's door. I go over to mine and act casual. Just to make sure he gets it.
Even though, I'm not gonna try to make him get it. If he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it.
Oh God.

---Chris---
I come from work and as I was entering the lobby, I happened to see Seb at his mailbox, unlocking it. Great. I went mine and Liz's which was only a few boxes down from Seb's.
I notice something sticking out a bit.

I unlock it and open to see the spam letters and maybe a bill or two and an envelope. Nothing interesting. As always. Except an envelope with just my name on it.
I look through the pile as Seb closed his box and walked away. His scent lingering behind him. It gives a different vibe.

Different than the last time but I didn't ask. As soon as I heard his apartment door close, I close my mailbox and head to my apartment. Once I locked it, I pulled a letter that stuck out. It was a blue envelope with my name on it.

No address from or to. I open it and begin reading.
The more I read the more a sick feeling caused the painful turn in my stomach.

Chris,

I know I made my choice and when a choice is being made, it's hard to walk away from it. So, I'm sorry. You were right. I feel extremely alone.
I'm not in love with Alex. I'm far from being in love.
But I know I lost you for good and by the time you read this, I don't know what the outcome will be. But know I did love you. And none of it was your fault. Alex left finally anyways. So I'm truly alone. I have no one and nothing.

I didn't read the rest. I dropped everything and ran out of my apartment.
The worse was going through my head and God forbid I'm right.

---Seb---

I guess I was expecting this ending. Leaving this world seems so easy. Why not do it? There's nothing left for. Alex said so himself before he finally walked once and for all.
No one knows about that but me. And I already made a decision and I'm scared of rejection from trying to change it.
So, I quit.

I then pull out some medication out. My backup. Just in case.
I then begin to full the bathtub and grab a knife I had set on the bathroom sink earlier.
I could feel every inch of my body shaking. I'm finally leaving.

I then grab the knife until I suddenly felt someone grab me and drag me from the tub. I quickly yell and begin to squirm as the person began to take the knife away.

"NO! STOP IT! I'M NOT STAYING HERE!", I squirmed more as tears began to come down my cheeks. I then calmed down as I heard the voice of Chris. Realizing who had me.

" Sshhh it's okay. I'm here. I'm right here.", I felt his lips press against my temple, "you're not alone. You were never alone and you never lost me. You're okay. You're safe. Please don't go."

I then began to calm down but tears still fell from my eyes. I hid my face in his chest, clinging onto him.
"I'm so sorry, Chris. I can't do this anymore."

"You're not alone, Sebastian. You never were. For my sake, please stay for me"

The words hit me like a brick. He wants me?
I stayed in his chest for the longest time. It seems like home.
I felt his hand petting my head. I feel his fingers running through my greasy hair.

"Seb. I promise you with all my heart. I'm always here. No matter how far you try to push me away. I'm not leaving"

--------------

I walk out of the building to see the angel I missed who no longer had to go to these dumb sessions.
But soon I'll be free like him. Just two more days.

I run and hug him tightly. "Geez, babe.  The session isn't that long. "
I look at him, "it is when you don't want to be there and are really bored."
He chuckled and led me off to our apartment complex.
"Come on now. Two days will pass by you"
"Yeah? Well, I already know you were Mary's favorite. She doesn't even make eye contact with me anymore."

We head up and over to Liz's apartment. Chris still lives with Liz. But he's mainly with me. We're thinking about moving in together but baby steps for us. Me mainly.

But I know, sooner or later, I'll agree to the decision. I love Chris. Truly I do.
And I'm not lying to myself. Nor do I have to.
I'm not quiet anymore.

A/N: Alright kids. I'm sorry if it seems rushed and short but I unfortunately lost half of what I was originally going to do but uh yeah! Maybe in the near future, I will fix it. But other than that, there you go. Hope you enjoyed a mix of emotions and stuff. Also again, please don't harm yourself or try to hurt yourself. Please know you are needed and loved. By me. I'll be your sister, brother, mom, or dad just to tell you I love you and appreciate you. And it doesn't matter if I'm a girl. 😂😂 But yeah. I love you all. ❤