The Rockstar's bodyguard { A Bethanny Mcnarie novel }

Chapter 10: The closure { Bethanny POV }

After talking to Dr. Brivio, I felt better. Seeing Buck was hard, bringing back all the old feelings of rejection and self loathing. His eyes were full of guilt when I saw him.

It was hard for people to understand why a simple breakup had affected me in such a drastic way. For a short time afterwards, I became a different girl. I was reckless and did everything to sabotage myself except for actually self harming. After talking to a therapist for years, I began to know myself.

I had what Dr. Brivio called an obsessive personality. That's why when I lost a game, I got intense. When I was wronged by a jerk like Jason, I checked his website every hour and plotted revenge. When I got a bad grade, I gave up sleeping to become better. I didn't know how to let things go, it was not in my nature. So when I'd lost the love of my life, or the person I thought was the love of life, I went insane. Of course I'd lost more than that, and only Dr. Brivio knew the whole truth. I hadn't even told Mel what I did the night I'd caught Buck with that girl, or the consequences of that choice.

But still, I felt better. It'd been two years and I was better. Still a little obsessive, but much more balanced. No one, not even Buck Covington, was worth my happiness. I went on Facebook and saw a message popping up. Sure enough, it was from Buck. My mouse hovered over it. Did I dare read it? Could I handle it?

The door opened and Aaron walled in, looking happy.

"You're chipper," I said, hiding my screen.

"I am," Aaron said. "So your parents are going gambling tonight. Since your too young, I think we're homebound. Do you want to order some pizzas and watch some movies? "

"Sure," I said. "I have some board games too."

"Yeah, I know better than to compete with you," he laughed.

"Whatever. I need to hit the pool tonight too. I can't do my normal training since they have a sucky gym here. But if I swim some laps it will keep me in shape."

"Do you ever stop thinking about soccer?"

"It's good to have focus, " I said. "As long as it empowers you, focus can be healthy. "

"Ok...what are you reading."

"Facebook," I said. "Random question: if your ex sent you a message on Facebook, would you read it?"

"Is this message from Buck?"

"Yes," I said weakly. "I don't know what to do, honestly."

"Give me the computer," Aaron ordered.

I don't know why but I pushed it his way. I wasn't the subservient type of girl, but Aaron's voice commanded me. He was a little possessive. And somehow I handed it over without a thought. I trusted him.

He clicked on it and read, nodding as he did. Then he began to type furiously.

"Aaron, what are you doing?"

"Fixing a problem, eliminating a threat to you."

"What are you writing! Aaron!"

He clicked the send button and smiled.

"Not suprisingly," Aaron seethed. "That asshole wanted to see you. I told him I was a friend and that if he contacted you again, I'd make his cut his balls off with a shive."