A little bit of love (boy x boy)

Chap 35. Reading his thoughts

  Dear Lucas, 

                           Today is the first day of the game. Ha. Now writing it as 'the game' , suddenly gives me chills. It reminded me of your favourite novel, The Hunger Games. But I just hope there's no one dying in it. 

  To be honest, I used to hate your guts. You were such a pain in the ass. My ass, to be specific. You were always spoiled by mum and dad, I can easily see that you're the favourite among the two of us. Mum always read you bedtime stories while dad just told me to go to sleep. I felt really hurt during those times. It's like.... I'll never be part of the family and even if I did, I'll never be as important as you. 

  But that all changed when you were sent into the hospital when we were six. I remembered that day so I clear that I don't think I'll ever forget it. It was late night, I heard cries from your bedroom. When I walked in, you were pressing your hands on each side of your ears and tears were streaming down your face. 

  I shouted for mum and dad. They rushed in, took you to see a doctor. And we got the most shocking and terrifying news. 

  The doctor said that a second late, you could be diagnosed with Middle Ear Infection. 

  Mum and dad were beyond horrified. But thinking about it now, it was already kinda obvious. There are symptoms we just didn't seem to catch back then. Like how you always had fever with really high temperature, lack of energy, coughing uncontrollably and runny nose ect. Or I will always see you tugging and pulling your ear. 

  The hospital recommended you to stay there for a couple of days or so, just to make sure nothing bad suddenly happens. That night, was considered one of the worst nights I ever had in the six years of living. I couldn't sleep, couldn't shut my eyes at all because when I do, all I could think of is you. 

  Your face. Your laugh. You talking. You making fun of me. You smiling. Everything..... was you. 

  That was also probably the day when I finally realize that no matter how hard or many times I used to tell myself that ' I hated you ' , it's just isn't true. In fact, I cared about you. I love you. ( Ahem, as a brother of course) . 

  When you were in the hospital, I took opportunities to ask mum and dad to bring me to the hospital so that I can visit you. They rarely agreed though... The first time I saw you laying on the hospital bed, the first thing that I came up to my mind was.....

  how I wanted to protect you. 

  So really... I don't think that '  WHAT was my first impression to you ' was the question. More like.... ' WHEN was the real impression I had on you ' . 

  And to answer that question. It was actually on the day of mum's funeral. 

Your brother, 

Pocky

  That was Luke's first journal. Or in case in the format, a letter. 

  Lucas smile the last word. Pocky.... Oh how much he missed calling Luke that. When Lucas was young, he had a thing for Pocky Sticks, especially chocolate favor. He always had a pack of them in his school bag for recess and tons at home. 

  He gave that nickname to Luke because he knows how much that boy hates it whenever he calls him that. And you know kids.... they love to annoy each other. But turns out, Luke never hated it. He just wasn't the best at showing his feelings.