5:13pm 02-11-19

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i'm so lost. i have no idea what to do now. i'm home and i'm alone and i'm scared and i'm lonely and its right about time that i'd call you. but i can't do that anymore because i was too fucking selfish to appreciate you. and now i'm falling apart, endlessly heartbroken. i should've studied today, or at least tried, but i couldn't find the motivation and so i didn't and i'm going to fail my exams and i'm not gonna get the marks i need and i'm not gonna go to uni and there's nothing i can do to control it. i'm spiralling out of control right now and i miss you and i need you and you were the best thing that ever happened to me and i took it for granted. i'm so sorry.



you sat there and you let me make plans knowing we weren't going to last that long, and so now they're just empty dreams



you always talked about how breaking promises is your biggest thing. you never said "i promise" but this feels a lot like a broken promise to me



i want to hate you so badly, but only because i love you even more



i can't breathe, i'm really hot, i'm suffocating, i need to get out of here right now. i wish you would come save me

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