3:12am 25-03-21

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i hate me and i hate the way i look and i hate my own music taste and i hate my tv show choices. 

i hate how i can't speak up around people and i hate how when i do, i feel so utterly drained by not only the effort of speaking but the effort of overanalysing and criticising myself.

i hate how i lost the one part of myself i was proud of.

i hate how i let him and my past control every part of my present and future.

i hate all the parts of me that he hated and i hate all the parts of me he created but unfortunately, that's all that's left.

i think he would hate me too.



i never fought for myself and i wish i had have. i wish i could now.

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