Dancing On Thin Ice // KTH

Chapter 60

They rode through the city streets, through swarms of traffic and pedestrians. After a couple of minutes, Carmela shoved the uncomfortable churning in her stomach and cleared her throat.

"Okay, why did you call me here?" She asked.

Tae's hands stiffened on the wheel and he shifted in his seat.

"I just... I guess I just wanted to see you." He replied, his eyes on the road.

"W-where are we even going?" Carmela demanded, ignoring her thudding heart.

"Wherever you want. I don't really know." He shrugged.

"What? Why didn't you go to work today?"

"Yo, what's with all the questions?" He glanced at her.

"Why didn't you go to work?" She repeated. How could there NOT be questions... what a dumbass.

"Well... why didn't you go to work?" He shot back.

"Because... I-I was tired." I was trying to get away from you.

"Exactly." He said in a thick voice and the car became silent once more.

Carmela's tongue itched with more questions but she was... sort of afraid of his answer. It seemed a bit awkward too, bringing it up out of no where--

"Alright, look. I know you don't wanna talk about it. I don't either. But I deserve an answer. It's not 'cause I care, it's just 'cause you... you hurt my pride." She blurt out and Tae turned to her, blinking with surprise.

"Wait, what--" He started but she cut him off angrily.

"Was that shit from last night true? Did you really only enjoy fucking me? Is that what you... what you were in love  with? The whole time we were together... was fucking the only thing you cared about?" She ended with a soft voice but glared at him with flared nostrils. She needed to know, whether it was what she wanted or not. Her heart trembled inside of her, shaking with anticipation.

"Carmela, why the fuck would you bring that up now?" She stared at him with disbelief.

"Are you fucking serious? When would I bring it up then? What did you expect me to say, huh? Oh, Tae! I really wanted to see you! Oh, Tae! I fucking missed you! Oh, Tae! I FUCKING LOVE YOU?! HA!" She scoffed away from him, piercing her eyes out the window. Who did he think he was? Saying shit like that and then not expecting an explanation.

"Look, it doesn't even matter now. It doesn't matter what I said." He spoke in a soft voice and she felt her heart fall as she stared at the trees and buildings whizzing past the car. 

"Maybe it doesn't matter to you. But it does to me." She said.

He stayed silent again and Carmela almost hated him for it. What was the need to beat around the damn bush? Why can't he just clearly say, yes or no? Maybe he just didn't want her to know the answer--

"I'm sorry." His thick voice broke slightly as the words left his mouth. 

Carmela slowly turned back to him, and felt herself melt into the seat. Her body was numb with confusion and... longing.

"Sorry?" She repeated softly. So he didn't mean it. He didn't  love the sex, he loved m--

"I'm sorry for... all this. But Hosi's like a brother to me, Carmela. I can't be with you and leave him like that... I can't." He said.

"Tae, I know. Why'd you call me here to tell me something I already know? Something I don't give a shit about?" She said, disappointment tugging at her heart.