Dancing On Thin Ice // KTH

Chapter 02

"Fuck off!" Carmela threw her phone across the practice room and readied her stance once again. She swung her arms around her hips and artistically rolled on the floor, moving to the jazzy beat. Her heart yearned for dancing, ever since it had helped her recover from her mental state. That was years ago, though Carmela had promised to never remind herself of her past experiences, because honestly she thought it was pointless. Why stay drowning in the past when you're breathing right now in the present?

As the music came to a stop, so did she and she flipped her head back redoing her sloppy bun. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she walked across the spacious room and bent down to pick up her nagging phone.

*56 missed calls from Aunt Kass*

Carmela groaned and rubbed her thumb along the edges of her iPhone, thankful it hadn't broken. Her Aunt was always bugging her about another date or another meditation meeting. She was obsessed with the idea that if Carmela was not alone, she would be safe. But she should have figured by now that Carmela had definitely learned her lesson and wasn't stupid anymore. Well, wasn't as stupid anymore. Still she shuddered at the thought of harming herself again, especially when she vaguely remembered the blurred look on her Aunt's face as she held her hand in the ambulance.

For a moment, Carmela felt a terrible ache in her heart for her Aunt as she recalled those horrific memories. Aunt Kass had always been there for her, ever since she was left alone by the world, struggling to breathe. She stood from her kneeling position and dialed her Aunt's number as she walked into the change room. She quickly picked up and Carmela was greeted with a shriek from the woman on the other side of the phone.

"Carmela Lee! Do you know how many times I have called you? You think I have the time to make that many calls? That I just sit around all day pressing the call button for no reason? No! Obviously I have something to say, so you pick up the phone when you're called, unders-"

Carmela placed her cell phone on the bench as her Aunt continued yelling and gathered her clothes in front of her. She kicked off her soft shoes and put the phone on speaker when she sensed all was calm.

"Look, when I'm practicing, YOU can't interrupt me! It literally messes up my whole dance, and the moment I'm in! Why can't you understand that?" She replied, struggling to slide her leggings off.

"Alright, okay, now l-listen... Come home right this instant, you hear? Hurry." The phone hung up and Carmela rolled her eyes, peeling her tank top from her sweaty body. She slowly looked down at the pink scars on her thighs and shivered, quickly popping her head back up again. She switched to a sparkly white bra and pulled on a thin fuzzy white sweater and faded ripped jeans. Shoving her phone in her back pocket, she grabbed her black bag and stomped out the door, annoyed at her Aunt's constant orders.

The wind outside was chilly but the air was warm, as Carmela stepped beside the bus stop, folding her arms. It had taken her a full year until her crazy Aunt had let her travel without that snoopy old driver. Honestly she wondered if anyone thought of her as a 19 year old girl. Ever since that tragic incident, her friends, her Aunt, even the driver her Aunt had hired for no reason (except to seem rich) have pitied her and treated her like a middle schooler. No one thought she was capable of regaining herself because of what she had done to herself, but can people not move past that? Will you only ever be defined by the past?

The bus screeched to a stop in front of her and she stepped in following the small crowd that had joined her at the stop. She climbed on and moved to take the empty seat behind the driver, but she noticed she was followed by a frail elder woman, who was looking around for a seat. Carmela sighed and shuffled over, gesturing for the elder to take her spot.