The differences between us Todoroki x reader

Flashback No. 6

M/n POV
This pregnancy is killing me I hate it so much! I told Enji and he congratulated me. God I wish he asked me if I was okay with this. I would've totally been honest with him. But that freaking smile of both of them. That husband of mine was so invested in making sure that this child would have the best life. His smile was so much brighter then the quirk he has. Enji was so happy with me because he thought this is what I wanted but it's true it's what I said to him...! I always told him that's what I wanted. In anger and since I wasn't allowed to be medicated while pregnant to be claimed as accidental I tried miscarrying way to many times. I was forced to stay in the downstairs guest room because I constantly tried to fall down my steep steps. If you were to fall you could break your neck. D/n was worried about that so he put all the things I would need to get from upstairs, downstairs so I wouldn't have to go up. Then I tried to "accidentally" harm myself with sharp utensils. So as I stayed home all sharp weapons were locked so I wouldn't harm myself with them. He treated me like a child. I understood why but I couldn't stand it. I lashed out at him, harmed him, the look in his eye would always be in pain and pity. His gashes from my nails would be horrendous, he never wanted to hurt me which is why he never fought back. There were times where he would use his quirk to be a shield to protect him and I would throw a tantrum which made him feel bad and apologize. He was weak. He wouldn't want to worry our neighbors so he always sound blocked the house to keep my voice heard only in the walls of the house. My words harmed him so badly where even I would feel bad. I remember gazing at him while he made my dinner. And for every five minutes he would just look at the knife. It was as if he were to give up on it all and just use it on himself. But I was selfish and never asked him what he was thinking about. He would sleep on the side of my bed to be at my assistance if I needed anything. Sometimes while I couldn't sleep all I would hear was him sobbing. He never harmed himself he never needed to. The pain I caused him was enough. He brought back his sweaters and would only wear them when others visited. He knew I hated them and would only wear them so they wouldn't ask why he was so injured if he wasn't in combat as he was taking care of me. D/n was a wreck as I stood there just trying to constantly harm myself. When it was the time to give birth to my child I had found out it was a female. And I chose to name it Y/n, D/n just agreed he was so tired and simply hoped to see his child. So once I gave birth to her I felt free. He would release me from the shackles he kept me in because of all the safety measures he did to keep me safe but my shackles of protection was just as if he played with a puppet ignored all the barbed wire and chains I kept him in. He was trapped in with a toxic love he believed to be love. He never knew what true love felt like since he could never learn or see it from his own parents. I looked at my child and all I could see was someone just like me she looked almost exactly like me. Same color of hair, same skin tone. The only difference was her eyes. She had his eyes e/c gems he was happy and pleased that his hard work payed off. Enji's son Shoto Todoroki was also recently born as well and I thought maybe I could make it as an excuse to see Enji more to bring my child to meet him. Though I didn't do that until after I finally settled back into my normal style of living. I cared for her but I could never appreciate her as much as D/n did. He played with her made her laugh and would always check on her when she'd start to cry. Gave her all she wanted and all the attention she called for I only was there so she'd appreciate me as much as she loved him. A daughters love was as much as he needed to keep on going. She would be oblivious of the abuse that I caused him since he always would try to keep it from happening around her. To her I was an elegant presence to her with kindness and purity. To her D/n was her savior, her protector, the best thing in her LIFE. I tried to change her mind but she couldn't she was young and saw only kindness from him. But that was because that was all he was. To me, to her, to others. No one knows how he truly was unless you were him. Once Enji met her and actually liked her I felt love for her. If you were to put it to something similar it was as if your were praised. I never felt that. Hardly felt that. I know D/n tried but it was useless. He was pathetic to me. I never knew his true anger once my true feelings was revealed. My feelings towards him, towards my daughter, towards Enji. I never seen such an expression with him it's the face that would haunt me for the rest of my life. That was now finally filled with guilt.
D/n's POV
I can do this, I can't do this, I can do this, I can't do this, I can, I can't, I can, I am going to be a father! does she truly want this? someone end the pain, the stress, the torture. the knife is making me question on how I see my life ending. my child is a girl, she's beautiful as much as HeR. M/n loves me, she loves me, all she does is because she can't control it, she loves me, she loves me, she loves me, the pain isn't stopping. my smile seems so dull. why does she look so much like HeR. why, why, why, why, why, why, she's lovely wait which she? I can't tell the difference, what am I talking about they aren't similar M/n loves me, no she doesn't. Y/n loves me I'm her father, no she only sees me as a superior. I hear what your trying to tell my daughter, no you only try telling her the truth. your phone was left open all I saw was Enji. wait no you love me, you always tell me you love me, you love me. he's just your friend, been your friend. I hate him, always hated him, he's cruel. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, no I can't hate him. she cares for him. she does, she does, she doesn't, she doesn't? that doesn't make sense. time feels slowed. help. help. help. wait no I don't need help I feel love I have a family. momma stop being concerned I'm the same old son you raised! I'll be a good dad, I'll be a good dad, I'll be a good da- what. What what what what no. no. no. no. no. no. NO.
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Hey so D/n's POV hope you understood it because I didn't want to repeat what happened so I hope you could just get a sense how his thoughts were in all of this. Comment to me please on what chapter you'd like for the next chapter. Another flashback or continue the storyline.