The Hobbit/Lord Of The Rings One Shots

Pippin

Teasing

It was a quiet afternoon at the shire. Or at least that's what Pippin thought. Everything was set up for a perfect night with his love, Ashlee. To him she was perfect. He recalled the journey in which they both went on with Sam (Ashlee's brother), Frodo and many others including Merry.

He looked back at the table and he decided that something was amiss. Of course! He thought before running round the little hobbit hole in search for some candles. And then - "Eureka!" He exclaimed in joy, grinning as he found the candle box. Inside, he found two crimson red candles. Neither of them had been used. He mentally thanked Daisy, a fellow hobbit who gave him this idea, for giving them to him a few years back. He held them close to his chest for a while before looking at the clock on the wall. 9.50pm. Ten more minutes.

Instantaneously, he stood and raced over to the table. As gently as he could when in a rush, he put the candles down on the table, one on each end, and admired the view. Adjusting subtle things to make it even more perfect. He double checked the setting:

Rose white table cloth? Check.

Candles? Check.

Plates? Check.

Cutlery? Check.

Food? Che - Okay. Where was the food? 

Pippin promptly made his way to the pantry, only find their was barely anything there. Now that was odd. He could have sworn there was more than a wheel of cheese, a handeful of parsley and ground ginger earlier on that day. He looked at the clock again. 9.55pm. That gave him five minutes. Quickly, Pippin checked the fire. Nothing. Then, five knocks appeared on his door. Pippin cursed and ran over to the door, clammy hands gripping the door knob, and he opened it.

"Good evening, Pippin." 

"D-Daisy?" He stammered, "I wasn't expecting you."

Daisy laughed heartily as she continued to munch on a raw carrot. "I knew how bad were at cooking so I made the meal for you."

Pippin looked at the brunette in surprise as he hesitantly took the basket from her hands.

"It isn't poisonous ya know, Peregrine Took." Daisy walked on in, taking the basket back from Pippin. "Firstly, you need to light the candles. Secondly, better silverware."

Pippin rolled his eyes, "But that's the best cutlery I have." He complained.

"Which is why I have my own cutlery here for you. And best goblets I could find in my cupboards. Right from Gondor they are you know. Found them myself." Daisy's golden eyes shone as if in memory.

"Don't you mean you found them in Bree, Daisy?" Pippin declared. "From that dwarven merchant if I do recall you saying so."

Daisy waved it aside as she set down the silver goblets, stainless cutlery and dished the foods onto the plate. "Regardless of where I got them from, they are certainly better than yours, Mellon nín."

Pippin tried not to laugh, "Since when did you start practising elvish?"

Daisy flashed her eyes at the hobbit, "Since Bilbo began to teach me in fact." She looked up at the clock, "Now, you have two minutes to change out of ... whatever you're wearing and into these." She chucked a pair of clean black trousers, a white shirt, and a clean teal blue waistcoat. She went into the weaved basket and took out some matches. She stoke a match on the side of the box, allowing it to catch aflame and began to light the candles. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get changed."

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Pippin nodded and raced to his room.It was time. He was changed, Daisy was out the room and the candles were alight.  But there was no sign of Ashlee. Pippin sighed, wondering if she had forgotten. Of course she hasn't, Pippin. He scolded himself as he paced his house. And then, there were three knocks. He made his way to the door and opened it like he had done before.And the sight in front of him was amazing. It was Ashlee herself.

Her platinum blonde hair was curled from having it in a braid. Her sapphire blue eyes complimented her ivory skin and, in essence, she looked stunning. 

"Ashlee, you look spectacular tonight." Pippin complimented, allowing her in, "Just like you do everyday."

Ashlee giggled, "I thank you for the compliment, Pip." She kissed his cheek as he escorted her to the table, pulled out a chair and allowed her to get comfortable before heading to his own seat and doing the same. 

Immediately, the two began to talk and compliment each other. Each compliment seemed to make Pippin blush as he was never complimented so much in most of his life. He was well known for being a fool - a good fool to be precise - and an excellent friend, but never anything else. That he knew of at any rate.

For hours they talked and laughed, reminiscing the days when they were on an adventure of their own, journeying to Rohan, Gondor, Mordor, Rivendell and many other places. They even talked about their thoughts on the company they travelled with. 

However, what neither of them knew was that, from the bushes, three hobbits were watching them. Like owls watching their prey.

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"Sam, be quiet." Daisy scolded the gardener. She had to watch the evening and wait for the right moment to pounce. Merry had willinging carted a barrel of ale from the Green Dragon tavern as he was going to serve the drinks. Daisy and Sam, however, were in a different dress to the usual hobbit attire. They were wearing multicoloured hula skirts as well as two halves of a coconut strung together to create a bra.  The cold breeze wasn't helping their sleeveless costumes but Daisy didn't care.

"I'm just sayin' that this isn't the best idea." Sam declared.

"Oh stop ye protesting." The female stated, "It'll be fun."

The group went silent again. And the two hobbits inside the home were dancing.

"Now, has everyone got their instruments?" Daisy asked. There were nods. "Sam, do you have the empty barrels?" Sam nodded. "Alright. Let's go."

Sam and Daisy both clambered into the barrels. Daisy was afraid, and it wasn't claustrophobia. She didn't suffer from it. But it was the secret that was going to be put into the barrels. Now, their were two secrets for two barrels containing a hobbit in each. All three had decided that it had to do with Bilbo's adventure fifty odd years before. That was what she was afraid of.

"Ew!" She exclaimed feeling slimy beings fall onto her head. The cold scales touching her skin. Then there was the pungent smell of fish. "Merry, I will bloody murder you once this is over!" Her words were cut short however when the lid was secured on top of the barrel. And Merry laughed before moving onto Sam's, who did neither complain or moan.

Eventually, her barrel began to move.

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Three barrels were placed in Pippin's home. One smelt of fish, one of ale and the other smelt of pine cones. The mix of the three aroma's wasn't at all a pleasant one, but the way Merry stumbled in made him suspicious. He took the two goblets off the table and filled them with ale from one the barrels before walking back.

"Ashlee and Pippin, you'll be needing the drink."

He took the drum he had alongside him, and thrummed it. Once twice, thrice, three times and then - POOF! The other barrel lids exploded. Out of one came Sam. Pine cones rained inside the home and he had his arms up in the air. Then there was Daisy. She had fish everywhere but still, she danced the hula whilst Sam also played the drums. 

Th attire that Daisy and Sam were wearing made Pippin and Ashlee laugh so heard they were clutching their sides. 

"That probably wasn't planned but, "Ashlee began, her eyes lighting up in excitement as she stood from her seat and began jumping, "This is the best date ever!" She pulled Pippin up, much his amusement and started dancing along with him, raving about. 

Daisy chuckled, "Whatever dance you two started doing was boring, so we mixed it up a little!"

Drinks were being drunk, food being eaten, tables danced on and, of course a final encore from Merry and Pippin.

They went onto the table, which was now cleared off for the occasion and began to dance whilst  singing:

You can drink your fancy ale,
You can drink 'em by the flagon.
But the only brew for the brave and true
Comes from the Green Dragon.