Chasing Dandelions //Ereri// *ON HOLD*

Chapter Seven - Present

Chapter Seven - Present

    I slammed the door behind me once I was in my home. I was angry. What was weird was that I didn't even know what I was mad at, I was just mad. I knew I was. Whenever I'm mad, my heart beats quickly, my breathing increases, and I just want to scream. I want to scream at the top of lungs until I can't anymore.

    It was shitty feeling really.

    And it was caused by myself.

    I think it's because I don't ever express my feelings. Not all the time at least. I keep all these stupid emotions inside of me - and that isn't a good thing. You can only hold in your feelings so much until you have to let them go.

    That's another thing too.

    Once you reach that point, anything will set you off. Anything. Even if it's the littlest of things that are stupid and don't even matter, it will set you off. Then before you even comprehend what's happening, you're yelling at your parents, your friends, your best friends, or some stranger.

    It really fucking sucks.

    Anger in general sucks really.

    I groaned loudly and ran my hands down my face. "Ugh, fuck!" I stormed to my room and laid down on the bed. I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face. And you know what I did?

    I screamed.

    I fucking screamed into the pillow.

    "Dammit, Eren! You're a stupid piece of shit! Why the hell do you think you're a loner?!" My angry screams were muffled by the pillow, and I didn't mind. It felt amazing to scream and I don't regret any of it.

    Whenever I was done, I took the pillow away from my face and hugged it against my chest instead. I let out a shaky sigh and stared up at the ceiling. It wasn't until my vision started to become blurry did I realize I was crying.

    I slowly put my shaky hand in front of my face. I felt the warm and wet tears fall from my eyes and trail down my cheeks, down to my chin, and then one final drop onto my shirt. My hand fell down on top of the pillow.

    I bit my lip whenever my vision started to become blurry again. All of a sudden, all the tears came crashing down at once and didn't stop. My heart was beating so bad I thought it was going to beat out of my chest or stop altogether. The fact that I couldn't breathe didn't help.

    Am I dying? Am I going insane? What is this?

    I sat up quickly and brought my hand up to my chest. I was practically trembling. I felt like I was going to throw up all of my insides, and oh my God I felt dizzy. It felt terrible, just fucking terrible.

    Am I actually going to die? Right now in my home alone where no one will find me? Holy shit, I don't want to die. Not here, not now, not today. I'm not ready for death yet. No, not yet.

    You aren't dying, Eren.

    Well, technically from the second you enter this world you're dying, but that's not the point.

    Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exahle.

    It's okay, Eren. It's okay. Breathe. That's all you need to do. Just breathe. It'll be alright. You're not going to die today. You aren't going to die now. Just breathe and it will be alright.

    It took a few minutes before my heart beat was at an even pace. When it was, I let out a long sigh and laid back down. I put the back of my hand on my forehead and noticed it was wet.