The Underbosses Psychiatrist (M/M)

20 - Chapter Twenty - Zev Martin's Point Of View.

If someone could aggressively look after and care about you that was what Jackson was actively doing. He made Creed get rid of Nathan's body and clean up my house. Well, Jackson took to angrily making sure I was ok. He ran me a bath, fed me breakfast, made me take all my pills, patched my wounds and currently he was aggressively digging the last bits of blood out from under my nails. Which I must say was not a very nice feeling at all. He really hadn't said too much about the incident which only happened about two hours ago.

"What happened to Nathan's body."

He didn't answer me, instead, he dug at my finger harder making me flinch. I attempted to rip my hand out of his grasp and that was only met with him hanging on to my wrist tighter.

"Jackson, talk to me."

"Zev, right now you don't want to hear what I have to say."

"Maybe I----"

"Just shut up Zev."

"I don't want-----"

His hand clamped over my mouth in a very not great feeling way. His eyes told me he wasn't in a very good mood and he was trying his best not to give it to me. So naturally, when he removed his hand I started to talk again.

"How does this make you feel?"

I watched his jaw tick as he stood up and walked away. Only to actually throw the closet thing he could find at me in anger. Thankfully it was only a couch pillow because I hit me dead on.

"What the fuck were you thinking Zev, Or did you neglect to actually do some thinking here?"

"I wrote a note, I told----"

"You told me what? I was your weakness and you love me! But you couldn't tell me to my face before you went and tried to have yourself killed? Not to mention you took Creed with you? Neither of you could say anything?"

"I didn't take him with me, he came along on his own."

"Oh, so you planned to go get butchered by your crazy ex all on your own?"

"Well, no. but also yes?"

"I'd kill you myself right now if I wasn't in love with you, for fuck sakes!"

"You're in love with me?"

"Not the fucking point here Zev!"

"Now I don't agree---"

"Zev I swear you better not start with me right now, I'm so not in the mood for what this is?" He said pointing his hand at me.

"He called me a monster, He said I was just like him."

"That's far from the truth, you are nothing like him, you didn't cut him into bits, you only stabbed him twenty-six times," Jackson said flatly.

I felt my eyes widen. Twenty-six times. That was undoubtedly overkill. Oddly enough I could vividly remember everything about that part of my killing him. I felt powerful and I felt sick to even acknowledge that I felt good killing him. He was probably right about me being a monster.

Jackson was pretty much keeping me by him all day. He wouldn't let me go to work, something about making sure I was normally sane. I was medicated again, what did he have to worry about? I definitely wasn't dangerous now. He went so far to even take me his office with him, he wouldn't even leave me home alone. So here we were, he was working on something well I sat on the bench in the corner of his office reading some really dry book about the history of weapons.

Sighing I set the book down and stared at Jackson. His eyes met mine and he looked away from me muttering something under his breath. He was pretty nice looking in his suit and I want to help him remove it right here in this office. I knew I was still buzzing off the act of taking a life, watching the light go out in his eyes. It was adrenaline. I was pretty ready to give in to the need too.

"Stop giving me bedroom eyes Zev, I'm not about to feed that adrenaline with sex. Sit back and read the fucking book."

"How about I come over there, spread my legs and you can read my ass cheeks like a book."

"Dr.Martin, Please act professionally in my office."

I was taken back by the way he addressed me and then I was almost offended.

"Don't you Dr.Martin me, Jackson Chance! How dare you!"

He ignored me returning to his work. Standing up I walked over to his office door and locked it. As much as Jackson would deny not wanting to fuck me I knew how the brain worked and how to make it tick. When I kicked my shoes off I had his attention. Undoing the button on my jeans I heard Jackson curse under his breath. It wasn't until I had my jeans halfway down my legs that Jackson actually spoke to me.

"Stop undressing."

"I really don't think you want that Jackson."

"My wants and what you actually need are two different things Zev."

"I have no problem feeding my adrenaline."

"I'm not going to help you ride out this high."

"No, I just want you to add to it."

"I'm not helping----"

"Now Jackson, Why can't you just play with me."

"I get that you liked the feeling of the power you had, but I'm not about to help you feed that power trip, its unhealthy and creates an addiction."

I was starting to feel annoyed now. I literally tore my boxers off my hips and walked to the very edge of Jackson's desk. I saw him look at my hips before he slammed his laptop closed. He didn't say anything he just looked me up and down.

"All I'm asking is that you fuck me, Jackson, I'm hungry and I want you."

I heard him sigh and his chair rolling back. He didn't say anything or even look at me, Instead, he started to clean off the top of his desk. Once it was cleaned and clear he sat back in his rolling desk chair. He slowly pulled his tie off and held it in his hand.

"Come here, but remember you wanted this."