the sweater ~~ jily

11.

Chapter Eleven: Lunch With Sirius

It was lunch.

James was able to walk Lily to the Great Hall before going to McGonagall's classroom to discuss what he'll be doing. He gave her a small hug before waving goodbye and walking away.

Lily entered the Great Hall with her books in her hand and playing with the zipper of James's sweater. She looked around the room and the Gryffindor table to spot any of her friends. She spotted Sirius by himself. He usually wasn't alone, so Lily approached him.

"Hey, Padfoot," greeted Lily as she sat in front of him and put her books down. She grabbed some food and put some on her plate.

"Hi, Lily," he said simply. 

"Why do you look so sad and lonely, it's getting me worried. You're never like this."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not sad, there's just no one else here. Well not anymore, you're here."

"Ha, you're welcome," said Lily sarcastically. "Are you just bored?"

"Yeah, no one to talk to. Well not anymore, you're here," said Sirius.

"Once again, you're welcome," Lily said again, taking a bite. Looking around, Sirius didn't have the normal group of girls staring at him. "Where did all the girls that follow you go?"

"I don't know, I don't think they like me anymore."

Lily was reminded of what she was going to ask him. What was the thing he said when he was half asleep in the common room? The day she walked with James back to the common room? If she was going to ask him, she had to be simple and slow so he wouldn't question it. 

"Hey, Sirius?" she muttered slowly.

"Yeah?" he said with a stuffed mouth.

Lily hesitated. "Y, You know how you're always single, right?"

"Ouch, but yes." he joked, slightly laughing.

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, not knowing how to ask this. "Why don't you date one of the girls that follow you all the time? I bet they're all nice, right?"

"No thanks, I don't like them either."

How was Lily going to ask him now? Maybe asking about other guys? She didn't know. "What about Marlene? She's single."

Sirius shrugged. "She's a nice girl, but I don't, let's say, find attraction towards her." he told her.

"Right." Lily furrowed her eyebrows, hesitating. "Any other girl?"

"Why are you asking?" This was a bad sign, he was becoming suspicious of her.

"I, I'm just trying to be a good friend, maybe —."

"Lily, if you're trying to ask me if I'm gay, I am. There's your answer, honestly, you could have just asked. You looked so scared." He laughed at her.

Lily pursed her lips. She really did know it, wow. How was she supposed to respond? "I looked scared?" Sirius nodded. "Well, I didn't want to be so straight-forward, to be honest. I support you, by the way."

"Great, just don't tell anyone else, I'm not ready for that yet. And don't set me up with other guys just because they're also gay. And don't assume I like other guys right away. And don't treat me differently." 

She paused. "N, No. I'm not doing any of that. I told you I support you, I mean it. You know me, I don't do that."

"I know, just telling you just in case. I wouldn't like it if you did anything I just mentioned. It's a stereotypical thing most people do," Sirius said.

"Your secret's safe with me until you're comfortable to tell other people." Lily told him.

Sirius smiled. "Thanks, Lils."

"Yeah, no problem."

Sirius took a look at her, noticing she was still wearing James's sweater. "Are you guys dating now? You've been wearing that sweater almost every day now."

Lily laughed. "No, no, he's just a good friend. A really good friend."

"Damn, you really friend-zoned him like that," said Sirius. 

"Well, it's only a sweater, how bad is that?"

"You do know how that works, right?" Lily shook her head. "Usually a boyfriend gives his sweater to his girlfriend. Haven't you seen anyone else do that around here?"

She scratched the back of her head. "Okay, maybe some, but I didn't really know what it meant. Is that why Severus was asking if we were dating or not?"

"What, no! He asked me first, so I told him 'yes'. And probably he thought of that too since you're wearing his sweater." Sirius put some more food into his mouth.

"You told him that?"

"Exactly. He needed to get more jealous, right?" Sirius did have a point, though. "Lils, just please don't play around with his feelings. He's been through so much already, haven't you noticed he stopped asking you out?"

Lily nodded hesitantly.

"Because you kept saying 'no'. He's scared again."

"I'm not going to hurt him, I promise," she reassured him. 

"That's good, because he really loves you, you know," Sirius randomly spat out. After he said this, he covered his mouth with his hand.

She felt herself starting to blush. What did he say? "Love?"

"I said 'like', I said 'like'. He likes you." 

Lily shook her head. "Okay, I promise I'm not going to hurt him. I might not like him like that, but I promise I won't hurt him. I wouldn't want to see him like that."

"You sure you don't like him like that? Do you know what it's like to catch feelings for someone?" Sirius asked.

"N, No, not quite." Sirius sighed at her. "I'm not completely sure, but my point is that I don't want to see him in pain. I'm not going to be the purpose of that. I swear."

a/n

yes, Sirius is gay, i had to
this chapter (including author's note) is 964 words
thanks for reading!

~the sweater