the sweater ~~ jily

25.

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Fix

Lily stayed in the common room late in the night. She stared at the fire for hours and lighting it again every now and then. She was stuck in her thoughts and was too lazy to move to the dormitories.

She was able to talk to James that day, so did that mean he forgave her? Would everything be the same again? They would probably stop the act of pranking Severus, of course, but would they go back to not talking to each other because they were too scared?

Lily definitely changed her thoughts about him...something about him made her feel something she had never felt before.

Love.

The thought of loving him was in the back of her head the whole time, and she seemed to be ignoring it. She loved him and he'd be the first person she'd ever love.

After this whole mess, he could never love her back. He could find someone who wouldn't hurt him like Lily had. But as long as he was happy, so was she.

Something caught her off guard that night; the sound of sniffling. It was soft and quiet, but Lily was able to hear it. She looked in the direction of the sound as the fire completely went out.

The sound came from under the stairs. Lily thought of one person who that could be, and instantly, she walked in.

A familiar figure was sitting there. Lily didn't have to guess who it was to know who. She knocked on the side softly.

"Hello?" Lily whispered. James's figure faced his head away from the entrance. "James?"

"No, please," he whispered.

He was crying. Lily's heart sank, but she walked inside. James crawled all the way to the corner. Lily didn't invade his space, not moving any closer to him. She sat there as James quietly sniffled.

"Can I talk to you?" Lily asked him.

James frantically wiped his face, his glasses crooked. He faced her with a forced smile on his lips. "What do you need to talk to me about?"

Lily slightly hesitated. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that before, what about?" said James with a slight edge.

"For kissing you and not telling you it was to scare away Severus's friends."

Lily noticed James's eyes went glassy and watery again. He sniffed again and faced the wall in front of them. "Can you just tell me the full story, please? I don't understand," he asked, his voice cracking.

She sighed. "I was walking back to the common room that day, and Severus's friends were behind me. They kept following me after I walked through most the halls, then I bumped into you. I panicked and didn't think, so I kissed you to scare them away. I'm sorry," she admitted honestly. These words felt bitter coming out of her mouth, she really realized how bad it was after saying it aloud.

James nodded, sniffling again. "If only I didn't love you as much as I do, maybe it wouldn't hurt this much," he whispered. Lily's heart ached. "You could've told me yourself, I would've understood, Evans."

"I know, I know, I wish I had. I regret not telling you —."

"I just have one question," he interrupted.

Lily started to overthink when he interrupted her. "Yeah?"

"D, Did any of the things we did together mean anything to you or was it just for Severus?" he asked with a tear silently dripping down his cheek.

She didn't hesitate. "Of course it meant something to me, James. It meant a lot to me —."

"I don't think you get what I mean when I asked that." James's tear dripped off his chin. Lily realized what this was about, he was asking if it meant to her in a loving way. "It's fine if it didn't, I just want to know."

Once again, she didn't hesitate. "It meant to me in the way you think it meant." The heartfelt feeling came back.

"How do I know you're not lying to me?" he said with another tear falling down his face.

Lily adjusted the way she was positioned to be closer and kneeling in front of him. She wiped his tears away with his Quidditch sweater that she was still wearing. James's eyes met hers, his hazel eyes dilating. Lily began to smile. "Because I love you," she said quickly and honestly.

James didn't seem to do anything, he just let it sink in. Lily became shy of the silence and looked away.

"I love you too," he said back. Lily's heart was pounding and she couldn't help but smile. She looked back at him, his face with a growing smile.

Lily's eyes looked from his eyes to his lips. This was just like the moment in the common room before Sirius slammed the portrait. But there was nothing that could interrupt them now.

Lily made the first move, pressing her lips against his with no hesitation. James kissed her back, his hand making it to her hair and her arms around his neck. She felt him smile throughout the kiss.

Something had thudded overhead and startled them. Lily moved away quickly and James had jumped.

James rolled his eyes. "What the actual shit — !"

"Shut up, James."

Lily covered her mouth with her hand. James's face was still slightly tear-streaked. Someone was going down the stairs and Lily could tell James was trying so hard not to laugh.

"Shut. Up." repeated Lily. The footsteps went back up and closed some door again. They both sighed with relief. "Did you really have to laugh?"

"I can't tell if it's adrenaline or it's actually funny," James whispered with a smile. He moved her hair away with his finger.

"Okay, now shut up," she repeated once more before kissing his lips again.

a/n

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this chapter (including author's note) is 989 words
thanks for reading!!

~the sweater