Words I never Tell

Chapter 16

Candice

"Why do you love sailing?" Hindi ko mapigilang itanong kay Hariette.

Nandito kasi kami ngayon sa yacht nya.

"It's my escape to the toxic world. Na-adapt ko kay Railey. Rail is my bestfriend. She's someone so precious to me." Mahinang bulong nito na niyakap ako habang pareho kaming nakatanaw sa papasikat na araw.

"It seems so. Kahit si Ate Rail grabe mag-alala sayo e. She can even leave Ate Alice whenever it concerns you."

"She loves flying and I love sailing."

"I am afraid to fly and to sail. Too bad."

"Oh?  But it feels better to be this close with you. Sailing. Sunrise. Cups of coffee. Cool wind. The salty smell of the sea. It feels so surreal. I am happy."

"Hey, you're being too in love." kantyaw ko sa kanya.

Ito naman ay natawa lang doon. Isinandal pa nito yung chin nito sa right shoulder ko as her arms are wrapped around my waist. Her chest is pressing on my back.

She's right. I am happy and contented too.

"Isn't this too perfect?" Tanong pa nito.

"It is." I agree. "It's making me think that there's something wrong that's going to happen next."

"A calm before the storm?"

"Isn't it?"

"No, Candice. Kahit ano pa yung abutan natin pagbalik natin, nothing will change."

"Right."

"Left?"

"No, Right. On whatever what's left daw, there's always something right. We should just see through it."

Pabirong kinagat nito yung balikat ko. "You always have a lot to say about things. Do you argue a lot?"

"Yeah. So imagine how boring your life was when you got me into full submission lang because you're too afraid to trust me."

Hinawakan ko yung mga kamay nya na nakayakap sakin.

"I'm so sorry for being too hard on you, Candice. I've hated you. Not because I knew you but because I thought you hated me too. Saka you can't blame me, you're too rude. Sobra ka kaya sakin."

Napaisip naman ako sa sinabi nito. I actually don't hate her kahit naman noong una ko syang nakita. I am more afraid of the people around me. I am afraid that people will find out how useless I am. So I tried to scare them all away.

"The only thing I hate about you is your scent. Nothing else." Nahihiyang pag-amin ko dito. "I can sense that you are nice too even though you were putting yourself away. I can feel it with the way you care for Ate Railey as if she's so precious to you. On the way you're mentally checking everyone pag may nawawala sa paningin mo na para ka ng nagroroll call. You're like everyone's shadow. "

"I am not good in expressing myself, that's why. I am good at being in the background. I hate spotlight. I am mostly the person that everyone will usually forget to include in the normal talks."

I immediately shook my head. "No! You're the badass. It's so easy to blame you for everything. Ikaw kasi yung pikon at mabilis magalit. Kaya tuloy iba yung naiisip ng lahat sayo. But in reality, you're the most expressive. You get mad. Nambabato ka. Nananapak ka. When you're mad, you're truly mad. As in sisigaw ka at magwawala ka."

"Am I?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I did it for Railey. She finds hard to express herself kasi. She's the carpe diem type."