My Dear Laurens (Lams)

A. Hamilton

Burr left first. He bid his friends (?) adieu. The drinking and laughing continued as the men acquainted themselves further.

Alexander's heart soared that night. He truly felt like he could belong somewhere. Of course, he wasn't completely positive since he only had drinks with these men, but at least he knew he could stand being in their presence for longer than an hour.

Hercules Mulligan, Alexander learned, was big. Not only in his physical form but mentally as well. Mulligan was a confident, loud, friendly, bear of a man. At first glance, one might think that Mulligan would be a brooding and crude individual. While he carries both of those attributes, he is so much more. His fondness for his friends is ever-present in the way he treats them. Alexander concluded he was a lucky man to be in Mulligan's company.

Marie Joseph Paul Yves Roche Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. Truly, he is a flagrant soul. His aura has been knit with bravery, passion, and solely good intentions. He could be a hero to not only France but America as well. Alexander wanted to see that if he could. He also discovered that Lafayette is not embarrassed by his full name as most would guess, but in adoration of it. The only reason he chopped it down to Lafayette was to ease the mouths of the people he would come to know. Even this small and almost boring fact fascinated Alexander. There's always more to a story, and this detail made Lafayette's true self visible and simply described with one word: altruistic. Although, Alexander wanted to shower Lafayette with compliments and fine words. Trying to casually propose the obviousness of Lafayette's character. He was oh so charitable, noble, generous, and thoughtful of others. It would be an honor to fight by this man's side as an ally. Or possibly, a friend.

John Laurens. John. Laurens. John Laurens. Laurens, John. First name, John, last name, Laurens. J. Laurens. Alexander refused to believe that he could be exhausted from this man's precious name. Alexander was in awe of Laurens. He imagined himself to be the first man to ever be graced by the presence of this angelic creature. Similar to the stories in the bible, where people understood real and unrelenting beauty. Previously, Alexander had only been able to see (and imagine). Now, Alexander had heard and been touched by Laurens. Although, the physical issue had only been an arm around the shoulder or a pat on the back. While these were only slivers of what Alexander knew was possible, he was thankful. And only a little flustered at times.

Practically undetectable, Alexander thought. Thought? More like, knew.

Laurens' touch had been short-lived, but his tongue? Which was only used to speak, and sometimes sing, proved itself undoubtedly divine. He had honey coating his words. The smallest sounds were indistinguishable from a poet's prose. Alexander realized that he could never be a deaf man. How could one survive in a world without the luscious, velvety notes belonging to John Laurens? He had Alexander wondering if his unseemly character could ever be seen as desirable.

Alexander knew they could be matched singularly through beliefs and ambitions. After all, Laurens had a mind out of his time. Radical and enlightened. His sort was only seen once in a person's lifetime. Or only this lifetime.

Laurens fought with morals that Alexander didn't possess. Alexander knew he was a flawed man. He could never compare to Laurens in the purity of his motivations. Alexander wanted the same rights for others that Laurens desired, but for him... it wasn't his first priority. Alexander was too self-absorbed. Another logical reason for Laurens to want nothing to do with him.

The night and Alexander's anxious thoughts lengthened. An hour past midnight, Mulligan dragged Lafayette out of the bar and into the inn where they settled in neighboring rooms. Laurens had left the table as well, but only to relieve himself. Alexander assumed Laurens had also decided it was time to retire, resulting in Alexander walking out of the bar and unsuccessfully searching for the inn where he was stationed.