Matthew Espinosa Imagines

Cutting

Matt has been at MagCon for over two months now, going city to city with the rest of the events family. It was great to know he was happy and having fun, but back home in Virginia, I wasn't okay.

My boyfriend was at MagCon while here girls called me ugly and a whore and guys didn't even give me a second glance. Every girl hated me because I was dating Matt, so that didn't help either.

He would always assure me that everything was going to be okay, but with him gone this long, I don't know anymore.

So, here I sat, in my empty house, in my empty bathroom, running a small, blood stained razor blade over my wrist. I've been so used to cutting that I didn't cry as much anymore. Only a couple silent tears would fall down my cheeks, that's all.

I watch as I trace cut patterns on my wrists. Blood floods out of the small slits as I begin to not even remember the reason behind this.

That's what cutting did. It helps hide the actual pain and give you different pain to help forget. It's a tactic that comes with a price, and that price is wearing long sleeves even in the summer and having judgement all around you.

Matt wasn't coming back for another week and a half, so I might as well get out all my cutting cravings now.

I heard footsteps from downstairs and figured it was just Mom coming back home from work. I stood up and washed off my razor blade.

Then I heard a man's voice, not Mom's.

"Y/N?" they called, making me jump. I knew exactly who's voice that was.

It was Matt.

Why was he here so early?!

"Y/N?" he calls again, making me go frantic. "Where are you, baby?"

I begin scrubbing my wrists until the scars and slits were faint. The sink overflowed in dull red water as my blood sank down the drain.

I dried off my wrist with a towel. I thought that would make the blood stop drawing, but my wrist still oozed of red warm blood.

I start to panic, hearing Matt's footsteps on the stairs. I saw a gauze wrap in my bathrooms cabinet and started wrapping that around my cuts to hide them. I pin the gauze, make sure the blood is completely out of the sink, and then jump out of the bathroom.

I see Matt, in my room, with a puzzled expression on his beautiful face.

"Where is she?" he murmurs to himself as he turns around to maybe go back downstairs to look for me.

His eyes find me standing there behind him. I smile wide as my eyes start to water. Matt's worried expression is washed away with a wide grin as he runs up to me and I run up to him.

We collide, my legs wrapping around his waist as he laughs and holds me up by wrapping his arms around me as tight as he can.

He kisses my hair, then neck, then cheek. I giggle into his shoulder as he still laughs gleefully. He finally finds my lips and kisses them lustfully, biting my lower lip and making me smile.

He attacks my lips again and again, never getting enough and me not wanting him to stop.

But, soon enough, his eyes find the gauze wrapped around my arm, and he frowns, pulling away.

"What's with the gauze?" he asks, looking up at me with worried eyes.

I bite my lip, trying my hardest to come up with a quick cover story.

"I was cutting peppers for Mom in the kitchen and the knife kinda slipped" I blurt out, hoping that sounds convincing enough.

Matt pouts for me. "Aw, baby" he coos, cradling my wrist in one hand gently, then kissing the gauze.