Matthew Espinosa Imagines

How Could You? Pt. 2

*Ana's POV*

I wake up in the morning feeling groggy and gross. I hugged my aching stomach as I got out of the bed I wanted to cling to. I didn't want to leave my home, and I didn't want to go to school either.

I got dressed anyways, dressing in the clothes I picked out for this horrible Thursday; oversized sweater and then leggings with white Uggs.

I straightened my long brown hair and then braided it all to the side in a messy braid.

I did my mascara, eye shadow and eyeliner until it was perfect in my opinion, then finally exited the bathroom.

I didn't want to go to school at all, really. Ever since I broke up with my ex boyfriend Matthew five months ago...everything just hit me hard like an earth quake.

I was tortured for the first two months of not having Matt with me. It's odd, because I was the one to let him go because of the terrible thing he did to me, but I still...love him.

He cheated on me, he hit me, he yelled at me. And I still love him hopelessly. It makes me mad at myself.

I walk downstairs, avoiding everyone else awake, then just slip into my car that was outside on this freezing winter day. I plug in the keys and drive off to my high school where I was spending senior year at.

I drove in silence as the only sound was the wind outside and the heaters in my car. Plus the torturous thoughts swimming through my mind.

I held my stomach again, as if to hold
myself together. I felt like if I thought too much of Matt I would fall apart, and that's what happened on the first month of the break up.

I had nightmares that made me scream in the middle of the night, I cried myself to slumber, I never smiled laughed or showed any emotion but sadness. Basically, everyone started thinking of me as that "suicidal" girl.

I guess that's who I was now.

I enter school once I arrive and then go right to my locker. I don't sit with the only seniors anymore before the first bell rings, because...well...Matt's there.

I can't count how many times he had messaged me when we had first broken up.

"Matthew: 8 missed calls, 13 unread messages..."

"Ana I'm so sorry!"

"I love you so much I can't survive anything without you!"

"Ana please...please..."

And then, one day, they all just stopped.

As I walk to my locker, I hear footsteps behind me. I ignore them until a hand grabs my wrist, then I squeal.

"Ana, relax, it's just me!" informs a familiar voice I definitely knew.

It was my close friend, Emma, who hated seeing me all depressed like this. She hasn't talked to me for at least a month.

I frown when I see it's her. I wouldn't of guessed it was her. "Oh...hi...Emma?" I sorta greet.

"Hi" she greets softer, then she pulls me into a hug. I sigh and then soon enough wrap my arms around her as well.

"You know he means better" Emma's British accent murmurs into my ear, talking obviously about Matt.

My eyes close as a single, silent year slips out, showing the tiniest bit of emotion I've been hiding out of the tons it actually is.

I quickly wipe the tear away before anyone sees it. "I know" I say, my voice sadly cracking.

Emma sighs and squeezes me tighter, then let's me free. "I love you, Ana."