born ready, f.hargreeves [1]

xiv.

(Based off 2.08

The Seven Stages)

Luther, Five and Five sat on a table in the centre of the pub - both Fives' on the edge of their seats, glaring at the other -- Kali getting as close as the shadows stretched. Luther took a big gulp of beer before sighing, "Well... this is nice, isn't it? The fo... three of us, together like this,"

"No," Both Five's answered back, their eyes not leaving the other, not even to blink. The older looking Five quickly spoke, "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self,"

"Older, actually," Five corrected, his fists clenched as he felt a cool shadow on his shoulder -- trying to calm him, though it didn't seem to do anything. "I'm you, just 14 days older,"

"I have pubic hair smarter than you," Older looking Five bit back, "How's that possible?"

"I can explain," Five answered back, leaning closer, "You see, one hour from now on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. About Kali. Well, today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump and end up in this twip of a body, trapped forever, small, pubescent,"

"Okay," Older Five muttered, breaking wind at the end of his word, "Even if I was to believe you, what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?"

"No, no. I need you to jump," Younger Five answered back, "If you don't jump, I cease to exist. What I need from you is to jump correctly,"

"I'm listening," The older looking Five leaned closer,

"The first time through, I got the calculation wrong. That's how I ended up in this body, but now, I know the correct calculation," Five explained, the two slowly gaining sweat on their brow,

"What is it?"

"I'll be glad to tell you... in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table," Younger looking Five answered,

Luther, who had been swiped away from the conversation, broke in, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, but this time with the right math, so you remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need,"

"Timeline restored, paradox resolved," Five added, "Everyone goes on existing happily ever after,"

Everyone was silent for a moment, older looking Five sighing before muttering, "That's quite a bit to take in,"

"What do you think?" younger-looking Five asked,

Adult Five paused, everyone, leaning closer as he spoke, "I think... I need to piss," Without taking his eyes off the younger five, he grabbed his briefcase and walked to the bathroom.

"Oh," Luther noticed a large amount of sweat building up on Five's brow and grabbed the napkin underneath his pint and wiped it away, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well, am I right?"

Five quickly shook his head, slapping Luther's hand away, "No, no, there's something... something doesn't feel right about this,"

"What... what do you mean?" Luther asked quickly, his eyes scanning around as he wondered why Kali hadn't left the shadows yet,

"I don't trust him," Five snapped back,

Luther's eyebrows scrunched as he replied, "But he's you,"

Five glanced at Luther, nodding slowly, 'Exactly,"

When Adult Five and Luther returned, Five was alone -- Kali presumably still in the shadows as the teen looked up from his drink, "We good?" He asked,

"We're good," Luther answered back,

"You got a deal," Adult Five explained, "We gotta hurry. Kennedy's en route. Less than an hour till showtime,"

Teen Five got to his feet, glaring at the man, "Why are you so anxious to get going all of a sudden?"

"Relax," Adult Five glared at him, "You're getting paranoid,"

Adult Five tilted his head to itch his cheek on his shoulder, as teen Five asked, "Oh, am I?"

Luther glanced between the two acting strangely before taking control, "Okay, let's go,"