Show Me the Way

Chapter 10: Mental

"What do you want?" I signed.

"I need to talk to you," he said. "We already talked," I pointed out. "And I'm sorry I've freaked you out."

"That's the thing," Ray said. "You didn't."

He hesitated before reaching out and taking my hand.

"What are you doing?" I signed. I didn't want to take my hand away, but I kind of had to.

"I'm not straight," he said. "I'm pansexual." I tilted my head at him. "I'll explain later," he said. "The point is... I do like you, Mikey. Really, I do."

"Wait, really?" I typed. He nodded, and his cheeks started going slightly pink. It was so adorable.

I paused. "Why?"

Ray grinned and leaned back in the booth, taking my hand again. "I don't know," he said. "Just... you're so... you, I guess."

I gave him a curious look. "But I'm deaf," I signed. "No one wants a deaf guy."

Ray shook his head, and his curls bounced around his face. "You're wrong," he said. "I do."

I felt myself blushing. I bit my lip and smiled. Ray squeezed my hand. "Don't tease me, Mikey," he said, making me blush even harder.

At least my family already loved him.

~

Gerard, Ray, and I got back before Frank. He hated Christmas, but he liked the family part of it, so he was staying until the last possible minute.

Gerard prided himself on being the one who got me and Ray together. It was getting a little bit annoying. Not to mention that every time we held hands or something, he would 'aw' obnoxiously. I could always tell because Ray blushed.

"I can not wait to tell Frank about this," Gerard said, sitting down on the couch. I looked up at Ray beside me.

"He is going to love it," Gerard continued. He kept rambling mindlessly, but I ignored him. I watched Ray instead. It was a better view.

Eventually, Frank got home. We all greeted him, and Gerard dragged him off into our bedroom.

I sighed.

Why'd it have to be our room?

I laid my head on Ray's shoulder and closed my eyes. He smelled faintly of fabric softener with a hint of his cologne. I loved it.

I felt his arm slide around my shoulders and tried to keep a straight face.

I gave up.

I mean, I wasn't straight, so why should my face be?

A little while later, I felt someone shaking me gently. I opened my eyes slowly to find Ray looking at me. "Hey," he said, "Frank wants you." He pointed over to where Frank and my brother were standing.

"Do you mind if I sleep in your room tonight?" Frank asked. I shook my head. "Just keep it down," I signed. Ray covered his smile, and my brother flipped me off. He dragged his boyfriend, who was pestering Gerard about what I'd said, off again.

I rolled my eyes. "He should learn," I signed to Ray. He nodded. "It would make his life easier."

I looked over at the calendar, squinting to see better. Classes began again in two days. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to stay out of class and talk to Ray and learn everything about him.

It sounded creepy, but when you had someone like him, it was completely rational.

~

I had just realized that I was going to be sleeping in the same room as Ray. Apparently, my nerves weren't hiding very well.

"It's not a big deal, Mikey," Ray said. I sighed and nodded, knowing he was right.

But still!

"It isn't like we're pushing the beds together like they are," he said, sitting down beside me. "You don't have to be nervous or anything. And besides, it's just for tonight." I nodded. I didn't even know why I was so jumpy. Ray was amazing. I knew he respected me and all, but for some reason...

Hell, we hadn't even kissed yet!

But there I was, sleeping in the same room as him.

I mean, no, it wasn't the same bed...

But still!

"Just... go to sleep, okay?" Ray said, moving over to the other bed. I nodded again and fell onto my back. He might have said something else, but I wouldn't know.

I laid my glasses down on the table and closed my eyes as Ray turned out the last lamp.

~

"Don't you fucking dare," Ray snarled.

The man adjusted the sack over his head, not moving the knife from my throat. I had to try. I had to.

For Ray.

"Ray," I said. He stared at me in surprise. "Mikey?" he said. "You... you don't talk. Wh-"

He was cut off by his own scream. I could feel myself squeaking as the warm blood from my neck flowed over my captor's fingers. Damn, this hurt...

Oh, wait.

I was dying.

Yeah, dying hurt.

Ray fell towards me, reaching out. I could see the tears, and they made me want to cry, too. My captor dropped me and started out of the room. I watched him go, then looked at Ray.

My breathing was getting more shallow with every gasp.

"I love you," I signed. "Save G and F." Ray leaned forward. "I'm so sorry," he said. And then I took my final breath-

I woke up shaking. I looked over at Ray, who was still asleep. If this was like the movies, I would go curl up next to him. Then he would wake up and say, "Mikey? What's the matter?" And then I would say, "I had a bad dream." Then he would tell me that it was all okay, and we would snuggle until the morning.

But this wasn't a movie.

It was real life.

And I couldn't speak.

I lay in the bed for a while, trying to fall asleep again. But the window beside me was really unnerving, considering the dream I'd just had.

Ah, fuck it.

I was skinny enough that I could lay comfortably beside Ray in the bed. I hoped he wouldn't find me weird for doing this and drifted easily to sleep.

AN: Apologies for the delay! I've been a bit busy lately. I'm trying, loves! XOXO