Destiny

Chapter 48

A/N: who's listening to Taylor swifts folklore album?

The whole album is so magical and beautiful.

Happy reading!

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Chapter 48

It’s strange yet interesting how humans have varied range of emotions and feelings.

Happiness, sadness, anger, frustration etc., as if someone is turning a page of our book and in each situation we react accordingly.

It made me a feel like a puppet someone was controlling. A puppet that was convinced it had free will.

Strangely even in this situation I was in, I was supposed to be feeling something.

The page of my book had turned and I was supposed to express or feel something.

At first it was panic, but then the feeling numbed down to nothing.

Everything happened in a blur. Shayan calling me to tell Dunya aunty collapsed due to a heart attack – Seb and I taking the earliest flight to Bangalore – running through the gates and corridors of the hospital and our hearts thumping loudly – reaching the ICU room and seeing Shayan and Imaad Uncle sitting there – doctor coming out to tell us that Dunya aunty is critical and we could lose her if she doesn’t wake up in next 24 hours – Imaad Uncle breaking down and Shayan, well just like me his mind was blank and since then, he was just frozen on his seat, staring at the wall.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Hameed. He called to tell me they will be arriving in another half an hour. They as in -  my parents, Hameed, Ahmed and Farah.

They left Chennai by car as they couldn’t get tickets for flight or train. Bus didn’t suit my mom or Hameed. They both get sick easily.

My parents didn’t have to come but my mom said there will be no one to take care of Imaad Uncle and Shayan's meals.

My dad said his friend needed him the most right now.

I sighed putting my phone back into my pocket.

“Uncle, Shayan, let’s go eat something.”

It was Seb who broke the silence.

“No beta. I’m fine. You kids go and eat.” Imaad Uncle replied, looking very tired. His eyes were red. He cried nonstop the whole time after the doctor spoke to us.

“Same. You guys must be hungry. Go and eat.” Shayan said looking at Seb and me.

I shook my head. “Shayan you need your strength. And Uncle you need to take your medicines too. I know you both didn’t eat anything since last night –“
I stopped as Uncle broke down. Hands in his face weeping.

Shayan started getting teary eyed and I felt helpless. What could I say to make them feel better? What do you say in a situation like this?

My heart hurt as I thought about Dunya aunty lying there in the ICU room unconscious since several hours.

Fearing of losing her must be torturing their minds. If it tortured me like this, then it must be hell for them.

I wiped my tears and started to convince them to eat just a little when Nurse came out of the room and called for a female family member.

She wrote a list of things for me to bring for aunty and told me to inform the family to go home and come back tomorrow morning as there’s no place they could stay.

That she will keep us informed through the phone if aunty wakes up or…

I don’t want to talk about that or even imagine.

Shayan protested and for a calm guy, that was the first time I saw him being so stubborn. And I could understand.

The nurse finally gave in and told him to sleep in the bench outside the ICU room. And I decided to stay with him after informing Hameed to go to Shayan’s house instead of coming to the hospital.

I told Seb to stay with Uncle until my parents and everyone else arrived. He’d order dinner for both of them and stay the night there.

Shayan still didn’t want to eat so I just gave up and convinced him to take a walk in the hospital park instead.

We were sitting on a bench and there was a tree overhead, swaying to the cold air of Bangalore.

The entire park was almost empty and there were two patients in wheelchairs talking to each other in the distance.

Suddenly there were sounds of sirens as an ambulance slowly zoomed into view, entering by the hospital gate and the paramedics rushed to open the ambulance door as it halted right in front of the elevator for emergency cases. The ER was on the right wing on the first floor. Seb and I first went there when we arrived but realised the ICU rooms were on the left wing.

I said a silent prayer for whoever that person was, lying on the stretcher fighting for life.

Hang in there.

I was finding it difficult to breathe and lately my chest pains had been getting worse.

I really should see a doctor.

There were juice and tea shops outside the gate. I went to buy a juice for Shayan and when I came back…

“Shayan,” I wrapped my arms around him in a protective hug.

He was crying.

“Its okay. It’s okay… she is going to be okay.” I whispered as I rubbed his back and pulled him closer.

“Look, cry if you want.. cry it out. I’m here for you.”

At first it seemed like he was hesitating but I kept blabbering words and he finally allowed himself to break down.

I had never ever seen him this way. He always looked cool and calm. I used to think he never cared about things as much as I did. He was perfect in everything he did and he had everything that I lacked in me – confidence, good self esteem, a happy childhood, calm personality, good looks and a mind that never gave in to anxiety or depression.

I envied him in many ways.

But now I realised despite that poker faced exterior – he was just a normal 18 year old kid who was scared of losing his mom.

And my mind flashbacked to when Seb said that Shayan feels useless as my boyfriend. It spoke his fears of not being trustworthy enough or protective enough for me to rely on him and that taught me that he had his own set of fears.

I sort of realised how right Seb was. I lived in my own world thinking I suffered the most.

“Its okay… it’s…” I paused as he let out more tears but he hid his face in my neck. I felt like he didn’t want to show me this side of him.

But little does he know.

After a while when he calmed down, he pulled away and I looked the other way giving him privacy to wipe his tears.

“Here,” I handed him the juice without looking at him.

“Haaniyah,” He said taking the juice from me and sniffling.

“You can look at me. It’s okay…”

“No,”

“Its really okay. Because it’s…” He paused and took my hands in his, “because it’s you..”

I bit my lip and looked at him. My heart hurt. His hair looked messy, his eyes were swollen and his nose red.

“I don’t look hot right now do I?” He said, chuckling.

I shook my head and hugged him. “You look really hot. I want to make out with you right now.” I said it in a hurry and he chuckled hugging me back, putting his chin on the crown of my head.

“Well that made me feel better.”

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked despite knowing the answer.

“No,” he answered honestly.

“Sorry I couldn’t pick up your calls last night, and that message was something,” He chuckled and I felt the heat rising up to my cheeks.

“I was mad at you,” I punched him jokingly and he laughed.

“I know,” he said and we pulled away.
I looked in his eyes and caressed his cheek, my thumb wiped the tear that just came rolling out of his eyes. His skin felt warm to my hand.

He put his hand on top of my hand and sighed closing his eyes.

“I missed you.” He said.

“Me too,” I said as I brought my other hand up to play with his hair. I missed him so much and I had so much more to tell him.

Then I asked him the question that I was dying to ask him since I left to my home.

“Are we… are we really done?”

He opened his eyes and sighed. My hands came to my sides and he moved away and I was suddenly missing the warmth.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” He replied, waiting for me to speak.

“I see,” is what all I could manage.

~

It started raining outside. The hospital lights were dim. I was lying down on a bench opposite to the bench where Shayan was lying.

I sat up because my back was aching. I checked the time in my phone. It was 2:58 am.

Dunya aunty’s nurse was a middle-aged lady. She brought bed sheets for us. Usually I know they don’t do that.

She seemed warm and motherly.

We thanked her. Shayan apologized for yelling at her before when she told us to leave.

She said she has a son like him who’s studying to become a cardiac surgeon. And then she kinda asked if I was single and the look on Shayan was worth it when I nodded. 

“Not able to sleep?”

“No,” I answered Shayan as he too sat up and patted the space next to him for me to sit.

“What’s up?” I settled myself next to him, drawing my legs closer. He put an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Mom hasn’t woken up,” He said and I looked at him. “Haaniyah what will I do if she doesn’t –“

“No no shayan.” I interrupted him. “Look she is going to be okay. She is going to get up and beat your ass for breaking up with me.”

He chuckled.

“Yes. I’m sure. And I have lot of complains about you so she must wake up. And remember what the nurse said. She told you to go talk to aunty. She will respond.”

I was thinking about what the nurse said.

“Oh the name's Mary by the way,” the nurse smiled at us, introducing herself.

“Haaniyah..” I said.

“Shayan…”

She nodded at both of us. “Beautiful names..”

“Okay before I leave, I want to give a suggestion,” She looked at Shayan.

“I will give you 5 minutes maximum, go talk to your mother. It might sound illogical but most patients in ICU respond when one of their family members talk to them. It’s like they are listening even when they are unconscious. I have seen many patients who are on the verge of dying wake up. Their hearts suddenly beat properly. It’s like the patients were never on life support.

Beta, the world may work on hard logic and facts but there is a force that is taking caring of all of us. And I have seen some magical things happen in that room,” she paused to motion towards the ICU.

“So go and talk to your mother. She is probably scared and your presence can do wonders. I will inform the doctor and nurse in charge since my shift is over.” She completed, patting Shayan’s shoulder and left.

Shayan immediately wanted to go and talk but another patient was admitted to ICU and the nurse in charge told us to come after some time.

“I’m scared to see her,” Shayan spoke. “She is my everything. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“She will be okay I’m sure.”

“Hmm..”

I was feeling sleepy. I didn’t know if it was because I was in his arms. Funny how that worked.

I’m in love with this guy. And I want to tell him that.

I didn’t care if he loved me back or not. It didn’t matter if he wanted to break up. Suddenly I wanted to tell him everything I felt.

“Shayan,” I sat up.

He looked questioningly.

“Just let me talk okay.. don’t say anything.”

He nodded.

“I love you.” I said waiting for him to say something.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I asked.

“You told me not to.”

Ughhh.

He laughed. “Go on Haaniyah Maryam. I want to hear everything you have to say.. since the moment you arrived you couldn’t stop staring at me..” 

I took a deep breath.

“Shayan I love you. Like tons. And nothing or no one will ever change that. And I don’t care if you don’t love me back or you don’t want to be with me anymore. But I love you.

3 years ago when I was on a hospital bed, I wondered if anyone will ever love me. I mean I had bruises all over my body. I looked ugly. And I had no hope from this life.

But when I came here and saw you the first time in the railway station, my heart knew it was screwed. You looked like someone way out of the league. Like a good looking model. Exactly the kind of guy I thought I will never be with.

Why would a guy like you even glance at a girl like me?

But you did. When Joe came back you protected me and comforted me. You never thought I was some pathetic girl. You fulfilled my wishes. You made me feel all the butterflies whenever you kissed me.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Even now I do. Even if we had a very little time together, I feel grateful. I will cherish it forever. Because someone like me never deserved happiness but you handed it to me generously.

Because when you keep living your life collecting scars instead of trophies, your heart just kind of gives up and everything becomes pointless.

For a really long time, I only told myself 'One more day Haaniyah. Just one more day'.

But now without realising I look forward to the next day.

You changed my life. You changed my world.

So shayan I love you and I will do so until one day my heart stops beating.

And I don’t care if you don’t love me back. Because.. “ I choked in tears and added, “because I LOVE YOU AND-“

I was rudely interrupted by a kiss.

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A/N: Thank you for reading. Please vote and comment. 💜

Also guys this book is almost coming to an end. It has been quite a journey. Love you all.