Matinding pag-uusap ang nangyare kay Gertrude and Denver. Heto nga't nasa bandang harapan ako malapit sa aisle habang pinapanood ang pagpapalitan ng vows nila.
My step sister looks really happy. I have never seen her like this before.
I felt a little dizzy kaya napahawak ako sa silya bilang pang-suporta. Para bang mahihimatay ako. I rubbed belly.
I went to the OB Clinic yesterday. I have a strong feeling na buntis ako kaya nagpa-check up ako and I was right. I'm 8 weeks pregnant.
Now I have little Zeno inside me.
I haven't told anyone yet. I'm not sure how to break the news to them. Masyado silang busy sa kasal.
Ghad! I hate to say this but I'm longing for that jerk's touch. I miss him and I hate it. I hate it because I can't do anything about it.
Wala akong balita sa kanya. Hindi ako nagbubukas ng social media accounts ko. Wala rin akong viber.
"Tanya, are you okay?" My mom asked me.
I simply smiled and nodded. I know she can sense that something is off with me. I've been losing weight. Napaka-picky ko kasi sa pagkaen.
When the pastor finally officiate Gertrude and Denver as couple, I immediately went to the comfort room to throw up.
Walang tao sa banyo bukod sa isang matandang babae na pamilyar ang lumabas sa cubicle.
"Are you okay, miss?"
She handed me a red hanky.
"Thank you."
The old woman seems nice and friendly. I don't know if she's one of the visitors in the wedding.
"You're welcome. I'll go ahead now. Take care."
Bumalik na din ako agad sa venue kung saan gaganapin ang reception. Lumapit ako sa table kung nasan ang sila mommy.
"You look pale, Tanya." Sita sa akin ng step father ko.
I nodded, "Yes."
Napunta ang attention namin sa emcee. The newly-wed couple is having their loyal toast. I feel really sleepy right now. Kanina pa ako humihikab dito, tinatakpan ko lang ang bibig para hindi masyadong halata. It's not that the program is boring. I'm just tired.
Sabi sa akin ng gynecologist, one of the symptoms daw talaga 'to. Naiinis na din ako sa suot kong dress. Feeling ko sumikip yung bandang dibdib. My breasts are swelling. Gusto ko nang maghubad.
Napatingin ako kay mommy na kanina pa titig na titig sa akin. It's like she wants to ask me something pero hinihintay niyang ako mismo ang mag-sabi.
Noong isang araw pa niya ako gustong kausapin pero umiiwas ako. Sa totoo lang, mas malapit pa ang loob ko kay Savannah kesa sa kanya. We're both focus in our own businesses. Hindi nga ako sure kung alam niyang model ako sa Pilipinas at nasasangkot sa isang eskandalo.
Mayamaya nararamdaman ko naman ang pagsakin ng puson ko. Naiihi ako. Ghad! This is so uncomfortable in so many levels.
Nagpaalam ako para muling pumunta ng banyo. I really need air too. Nasu-suffocate din ako for some reason.
Nag retouch ako. I fucking looked like Bella Swan of Twilight noong nagbubuntis siya.
Nagpahangin muna ako sa lobby malayo sa reception. Iniisip ko kung kelan ko sasabihin 'to sa kanila. For sure hahanapin nila ang ama ng pinagdadala ko.
And that man. Is he with Laurice right now? Ghad! I shouldn't have thinking about them.
Hinding hindi ko sasabihin sa kanya ang tungkol sa baby namin. I can raise my baby on my own.
"Yes, Tanya. Don't get your hopes up! Hindi ka na hahabulin ni Zeno. He realized that you're not worth it." Sigaw ng utak ko.
Pinunasan ko ang luhang tumulo ang luha sa mga mata ko. Is this part of early pregnancy?! Sobrang emotional ko naman! Ugh!
I looked at my watch to check how long I have been here. Going away ritual na ata.
I sighed. I feel sorry to Gertrude for not enjoying her wedding.
Tumayo na ako at wala sa loob na bumalik sa reception. As I was walking at the table, napansin ko ang seryosong mukha nila mommy at ng stepfather ko. Nagulat ako nang makita ko din sila Gertrude and Denver na naandon sa table. They're both smiling. May kausap sila pero hindi ko makita dahil pinagkukumpulan ito ng ibang bisita namin.
"Mommy what's going—"
Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko nang makita si Zeno. He's sitting majestically while looking at me. As if kanina niya pa ako hinihintay.
Tumayo ito at sinalubong ako ng yakap.
"Milady...." He smirked at me. "We'll talk later." He whispered.
His voice sounded dangerous. I almost wheezed as his breath touched my skin.
"You didn't tell me, Ate Tanya! Ikaw huh." Gertrude pouted.
Tumingin ako kay mommy. Her eyes went slit. What does that mean???
"Oh I'm sorry, milady. I told them you're having our first baby. I thought they already knew." He taunted then kissed my hair.
How did he know about that???
Hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. I don't know what to say!
"Who's your father, hijo? You look familiar." Tanong ng auntie kong matapobre.
"Juancho Montenegro."
I heard them gasped. Knowing that Zeno belongs Montenegro clan is enough for them to believe that his family is powerful. What more pa kaya kapag nalaman nilang anak ito ng presidente.
Now I became their topic. Wow. I just stole the newly-wed's spotlight.
Buong reception program ay hawak ako ni Zeno. He's rubbing my tummy from time to time. Tinatanggal ko lang kapag tumitingin si Mommy.
Iyon pa. I owe her a lot of explanations. Ghad! Nae-stress ako!
"How did you know?" I whispered to him.
"You actually think I'd just let you slip in my hold, milady? Hmmm? I've been following you since you got here." I heard a slight grunt from him.
Oh geeze...
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