Gertrude and I never had a decent talk at all. We never like each other since day one. I don't even consider her as my step sister.
Instead of studying here in the US, I went back to the Philippines to continue my study.
My step father, George, did his best to spoil me with everything. I kinda hate it because it made Gertrude abhor me even more.
When I started dating Denver (who is, by the way, our family friend), doon ko na-realize na living in California for good would be a great idea.
That time, I didn't know that Gertrude likes him. Noong after lang mag-propose niya saken. Kay mommy ko pa nalaman.
"I'm really sorry for everything, Ate Tanya." She hugged me again.
Seeing my stepsister weak and guilty about what happened before somewhat brings pain in my heart. I always portray her as a strong girl who never gets whatever life throws at her.
"W-When you left, I realized that what I did is wrong. I was really jealous and envious of you back then...P-Palagi mong nakukuha ang gusto mo... P-Palagi kang sure sa decisions mo... That's why our dad is very proud of you...T-to the point that he's comparing me to you....I became your shadow..."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi nya saken. How long she has been keep this to herself?
Tinanggal niya ang pagkakayakap sa akin at pinakatitigan ako.
"I-I know the reason why you suddenly left. You caught us kissing. I planned everything. Alam kong nandon ka. I.......I thought after what happened, I'd be happy because finally I ruined you. Finally." She shook her head. Trying to compose herself in between sobs.
"I-I was wrong. Ako pala yung mawawasak. Binaba ko yung sarili ko para sa isang l-lalake...I even got myself pregnant."
Kumunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean?"
"He's still not over you. Everyday, he's stalking you. He always go to bar to get himself drunk just to forget you. I took that opportunity to seduce him by offering myself."
"Yung sakit na nararamdaman niya, walang wala sa sakit nararamdaman ko araw-araw kapag naiisip kong hindi pa siya nakakamove-on sayo."
Hindi ko napansin ang luhang tumulo sa mga mata ko. I feel guilty for being too selfish just to get what I want. Hindi ko iniisip ang nararamdaman ng mga taong nasa paligid ko. No wonder, even tita Marinela hates me for dragging her family down.
"Gosh...I don't know if I should push this loveless marriage. Ayokong ikulong si Denver sa relasyong ito. A-Ayoko nang magmukhang tanga. I don't want to force someone to love me anymore.. I'll just accept that no one will love me." She covered her face.
Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. Naaawa ako sa kapatid ko. She doesn't deserve all of this.
"Ssshhhh...Don't say that. Our dad loves you. Si Mommy...." I comforted her.
"H-How about you, ate? C-can you love me? Despite everything I did to you?"
Sinuklay ko ang buhok niya gamit ang kamay ko habang yakap siya.
"Oo naman! Kapatid kita eh." I smiled, still crying. "Let's just forget what happened in the past considered that as our life lessons. You were immature and so was I. We messed up. I'm just glad we both acknowledge our mistakes."
We stayed like that for hours until we dozed off to sleep. Ako ang unang nagising sa aming dalawa. Parang bumabaliktad ang sikmura ko sa hindi malamang dahilan. We because I haven't eaten yet since I got here.
I went to the kitchen only to see Denver sulking at the bar counter. Agad syang umayos nang makita ako.
"Can we talk?" He asked. I nodded.
Nagpahatid ako sa maids ng pagkaen sa may pool area. I looked at the glowing street lights below the hills. Look like fragments in the sky.
"I always want to know where is the endpoint of those street lights. It seems endless." He said.
I turned to look at him. He seemed deep in thoughts.
"A lot of things happened when you left, Tanya. I blamed myself for everything. I tried to follow you that day but your family stopped me."
I chuckled. That's very typical of him. He can't stand on his own decisions.
"You know what I regret the most?"
"Hmmm...Cheating with my sister at the wrong spot?" I joked.
I was referring to that parking lot in the restaurant in Sunnyvale. Palagi kaming pumupunta doon ni Denver dati.
"No." He chuckled. He then looked at me. "It's giving you too much space. I should've followed you sooner."
My forehead creased. Don't tell me....
"I followed you in the Philippines to make things up....but it's too late. I saw you with a guy. You already moved on."
Nakita kong gumuhit ang sakit sa mukha niya.
I sighed. "Don't you think it's a blessing in disguise?"
"What do you mean?"
Before I answered him, the maids came in to serve my dinner. I offered him some but he said he's already full. I just shrugged and sat down.
"For the past years, I have come to realize how selfish I am. I never loved you the way you loved me and I'm sorry for that, Denver." I puckered my lips. Halata ang pagkagulat niya sa sinabi ko.
Right now, I want to be honest with him. He deserves it. Ayokong dalhin niya hanggang pagtanda ang pag-ako ng dahilan kung bakit kami nagkaganito.
"It's my fault too." I reached out for his hand.
"But you know what, my decision to go to the Philippines served your way to see who's the right person for you, Denver." I smiled at him.
"Gertrude loves you for so long. I hope you can see and feel that. She did everything for you. She was there when I left you." I squeezed his hand lightly.
"Please take care of my sister, Denver. We may rubbed each other the wrong way, I still consider her as one of the most important person in my life."
Nakita ko ang unti-unting pagsilay ng ngiti niya sa akin.
"Thank you for telling me this, Tanya. I guess, this is what I really need. A closure. You saved me."
"No. Gertrude saved you from me."
We both laughed.
This is gonna be a good ang long night, huh.
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