Chapter 18

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"What the fuck am I going to do?" I said pacing the room, "How am I not supposed to act nervous or awkward or something?!"

"Ro, you gotta calm down. You're overthinking it," Maddie told me.

"Yeah, literally all you gotta do is just act natural," Lilah said calmly.

The next morning the girls had gathered in Maddie's trailer before some of them had to film. I proceeded to tell them about how during the next episode Sarah and John B. we're getting back from their secret mission and basically fell for each other.

"That's the thing though! I could act natural and the rest of you would think I'm completely fine but somehow he always knows what I'm feeling. Like I wouldn't even be meaning to show some sort of emotion and he'd immediately catch on," I rambled.

"That's kinda cute," Elaine noted.

"Now is not the time for cute. Now is the time to die of embarrassment," I shouted falling back into the chair.

"You're literally getting the chance to kiss your crush and like yeah it's not for relationship reasons but like..." Julia shrugged.

"But I'd want it for relationship reasons," I groaned.

"That's also cute," Elaine said again and I glared at her.

"Why are you guys screaming in here?" Rudy asked walking through the trailer door.

"Rosalie just read next weeks script and saw that she's going to have to kiss Chase," Maddie told him.

"Wait, he knows?" Lilah asked looking between us.

"Yeah, he found out this past weekend," Elaine told her.

"Has he read it yet?" I asked Rudy.

"No, I don't think so. We all just got it this morning but have been filming non stop," he answered and I sighed in relief.

"How are we even supposed to talk about this? Like I understand, I already did something similar with Austin but like I don't have feelings for Austin, this is different," I rambled again. Elaine's radio called for her along with Rudy and Maddie for them to go to set.

"Stop overthinking everything. It'll be alright," Maddie patted shoulder before they headed out.

"Come on why don't we go somewhere to take your mind of things. You want to go get Starbucks?" Lilah asked and I nodded. She led us to her car and we left with Julia. We drove to the closest drive thru and sat in the car in the parking lot.

"This is just going to be the most awkward conversation ever," I said as we sat and listened to music.

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward," Julia said.

"It's me. I'm definitely going to make it awkward whether I want to or not," I answered.

"You probably are just going to have to go for it. The longer you wait the more stressed out you're going to be about it," Lilah added.

I nodded in agreement, "I have no idea how to even bring it up. Like hey looks like we're going to be fake dating now but like actually I do have a crush on you so."

"Oh shoot my dad wants me back on set," Lilah said checking her phone before we rushed back to the filming location.

"Just don't overthink it. The next time you see him just be like hey can we talk about this? And just get all your worries out or something," Julia answered as we jumped out of the car.

"Maybe you could just confess your actual feelings and it wouldn't make it as bad," Lilah suggested.

"Yeah, I'll just go with Julia's suggestion. I'd rather not get rejected and be stuck together for the rest of the summer," I answered. Lilah left to go find her dad while Julia and I just decided to walk around the location. Suddenly one of the trailers opened and the one person I did not want to run into today walked out. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," I said under my breath.

"Calm down, it'll be fine," Julia said softly.

"Oh hey, Rose, can I talk to you for a second?" Chase asked once he noticed us.

"I'll catch up with you guys later," Julia said ditching me.

"Sure, I wanted to talk to you too," I nodded as I felt my stomach lurch with nerves.

"I'm sure, you already read the script by now. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're okay with everything that'll be going on. I don't want it to effect our friendship at all," Chase explained.

Oh my god, he said friendship. He thinks of me as just a friend.

"Yeah, I just wanted to talk with you about it too. It's completely fine with me. Obviously just business," I said nervously.

Why would you say that it was just business? You're so dumb. Now you'll have no chance at all. But wasn't that what you wanted?

"Great, yeah I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. I mean I don't think I have the power to change the script but at least we could talk about it. Like you said, it's strictly business," he nodded.

"Awesome, sounds good," I said knowing my hopes of anything between us would definitely diminish.

"Cool, I'll see you around. I gotta get back to set," Chase pointed over his shoulder and I just nodded.

He turned to leave and I watched him walk away. That basically just confirmed that he didn't have any feelings for me and I didn't know how to handle that. We both confirmed that it was  mainly business and nothing else. That was far from the truth. At least for me.

"Well that was...yikes," Julia said suddenly beside me and I nodded in agreement.

"Fuck."

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