Fate Led Me Here {SOULMATE A.U} {Liu Yuxin x Reader}

26. Small Words, Big Thoughts

Y/N's POV

The tension is suffocating. It makes me hesitate to speak of the smallest of words. It's the second eliminations today. We would be cut in half and reduced to only 35. It makes me anxious, I'm dreading it. I don't know what to do anymore, everything is just so blurry right now. It's like I never make the right decisions in my life and it would have been easy.

It would've been so easy if my soulmate is here to help me get through this. But she isn't. Ironically, this all started when she left. Well, she didn't really leave but that's what it felt like. It's only been a week since she did but it felt like months for me. It didn't help that where ever I go, somehow Shujun and her are always there. May it be in hallways, dance rooms or the cafeteria. I can't seem to grab the opportunity to talk to her because they're always together.

"What did that egg ever do to you?" Xi'ai asked, nudging me out of my thoughts. I look down to my plate to see my sunny side up looking like a scrambled egg.
"Sorry. Got caught up on my thoughts." I said before pushing the plate away, deciding not to eat anymore as I buried my face in my hands and breathe deeply.

"Don't be worried. I'm sure we'll all get through." An Qi said, her mouth filled with food. But that's exactly what I'm afraid of, what if I really did stay, would it be for the better or will it just cause us more problems?

"I know what will cheer you up. Do you want to watch me perform my puppet show again?" Fanfan asked, making me let out a groan and shake my head.
"No, thank you. I think I already watch it a hundred of times." I declined.

"But are you okay though?" Keran asked.
"I'm fine. There is no reason to not be." I said as I uncovered my face. They were silent, looking at each other like they're talking.

"Well..." Snow started, side eyeing Kiki who gave her a nod.
"You and Yuxin haven't talked yet..." She trailed off.

"I don't think we have to." I said, fumbling with my hands.
"Besides, everything is kinda clear now. I think we all can clearly see what's going on." I added. My eyes wondered towards the two of them, they're sitting with Shujun's friends on their table.

It's bittersweet, really, to see them together. It's painful to see them together but I can't help but feel happy because Xin is happy. Because, I guess that's what love is. Maybe it's not truly about thinking about your own happiness, but think of your love's happiness.

"Besides, maybe this is for the better." I ended, looking away from them.
"Stop that. I'm not used to seeing you like this. You're usually so happy and loud." Kiki said but I just smiled at her. Of course she's not used to seeing me like this, because I rarely show it.

"Don't you at least want to?" She asked.
"Of course I want to. But I don't want to get hurt more." I said lowly.

"Well, what ever you do, we'll support you." Xiaotang said. Bit would they really? Would they still continue to do that after today? To say that I'm scared is an understatement. I am more than that, I'm terrified. They're my first friends and I don't wanna lose them.

"Attention! All trainees please proceed now to the hall. The elimination would begin shortly." The speaker announced, making the tension thicker. We all stood up and obeyed, all dreading the moment to come. I walked with the others, feeling like my legs are jelly and having to pee.

"Umm, you guys go ahead, I need to go to the bathroom." I said and stopped walking.
"Oh, do you want someone to GE with you?" Esther asked.
"Nah, you guys go. I'll be quick." U said, shaking my head.

They nodded and we separate ways. I sped walked to the nearest restroom. Luckily I didnt have to wait since it wasn't full. I quickly entered one of the cubicles and did my business. I quickly went out and saw someone by the sink, retouching their face.